As a 38 year old mother I am not even remotely the audience for either the book or the movie. As an English teacher I am most definitely not the audience for the book. I get that. I have a class of sweet college girls prodding me into seeing the film and I could not disappoint them (yes Lindsey, Nikki & Taryn I’m talking about you). However, after watching “Twilight” and reading the book I was quite disappointed in the film.

The Make-Up
Obviously I am not the only one who thought that Edward had on far too much lipstick. I’m sure they did this as contrast to his pale skin, but instead of his skin looking pale he just looked like a Japanese Geisha. It was completely awkward and drove me to distraction. Not to mention that I didn’t realize so many vampire’s dye their hair since it was obvious many of them had “roots”.

The Land Of The Never Smiling
I am a girl and I am absolutely attracted to a brooder. As a matter of fact I can rattle off many famous literary brooders that make me swoon; Heathcliffe, Mr. Darcy, and Mr. Rochester. However, in this film Edward takes brooding to such a dark place I don’t know why Bella ever went for him to begin with. Even Bella never smiles — even after they make out. Seriously, if you can’t smile around each other EVER then why are you together? This leads me to my next criticism of the movie.

Missing In Action
I know that when taking a book to film things need to be cut. This is a delicate task, but it can be done successfully (example; Harry Potter). The screenwriters chose to cut too many of the sections of the book that actually show how and why the couple like each other. In the film it seems to be all about the forbidden fruit and that Edward is cute but that is not true in the book. Edward talks about not being sure of Bella’s feelings and Bella sees how gentle and kind Edward is. Without some of this background it all seems random.

Without reading the book this movie makes no sense. When taking books to film it has to be able to make sense to those who haven’t read the book. Again, I point to Harry Potter. David hasn’t read any of the books but loves the movies. If you don’t have the book as context this film is painful. It has long scenes of people staring lustfully at each other in a way that would make anybody over 16 want to vomit. The scenes fit together in a clunky almost Cliff Note type fashion that only somebody already familiar with the story could make out.

Final Thoughts
As an English teacher people have not stopped asking me about this series of books (seriously, I was at Lucy’s gymnastics class and somebody asked me about it). The plot and storyline has so much potential. Stephanie Meyer had an excellent idea for a story, but the writing is weak. There are huge holes in the plot, characters are left in two-dimensions and the dialogue is for a 13-year old. These stories could have been so much more. Having said that though, I will buy the last two books and read them over Christmas. However, I probably won’t be seeing any more “Twilight” films.