When I was little my mother refused to let us watch “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”. As we got older she explained that she found it patronizing and annoying. At the time I thought she was being a rather large curmudgeon, BUT then I had my own children.

Up until this point I have prevented my children from being exposed to such pure evil as “The Wiggles”, “Barney” and “Teletubbies”. I admit that I’d rather my child watch Tom hit Jerry over the head with a large cartoon anvil than dance joyously to The Wiggles singing “Fruit Salad”. (And seriously, who gets the idea to write a song about fruit salad to begin with? Oh my, let me write an Ode to the Pasta Salad? Who does that?) Not to mention that I am convinced that they have embedded secret subliminal messaging, because if you have ever caught yourself watching one of these shows they are mesmerizing. Even as an adult you are drawn into a mind-numbing stupor, unable to look away. Only the devil himself could implement such an evil plan.

Recently, Max saw the Teletubbies. It was love at first sight. Prior to nap time he and Lucy get to watch cartoons. For weeks now he has asked in his sweet toddler voice “tubbies?” and Mommy has played dumb. “Tubbies? What Tubbies? Tubbies not on.” Max has been relentless. And when I tell him they aren’t on he looks as if his heart has been dashed across the rocks of cartoon despair. So finally today I relented and the joy that ensued was glorious, and as I type this I can hear his sweet, gentle giggle as the Teletubbies do whatever it is they do.

Later, I may have to force him to watch A&E or the History Channel just to make sure his brain is still functioning and he hasn’t succumbed to their evil powers.