Per societal instruction, David and I child-proofed our house when Lucy was two. Lucy, being the rule-follower, didn’t really need these added safety measures and so we didn’t go crazy. When Max came along we realized that greater precautions were required and so things like the china cabinet got packed up. We installed latches on certain cabinets and electrical outlets were covered. Well, most of the electrical outlets were covered. We ignored the ones we didn’t think he’d notice – like the one behind the couch.
Lucy: MOMMY! HURRY! We stuck something on the wall and it won’t come off
Me: what?
Lucy: We stuck something on the wall and it won’t come off
Me: what did you stick?
Lucy: I don’t know what it is called but hurry.
I meander into the family room expecting one of the following; a booger, a piece of gum, or yogurt. Instead, I find Max jumping on the couch squealing; “huwwy, a fiwe! a fiwe!” Lucy dodges behind the couch and points to a paper clip sticking out of an electrical outlet. NICE.
Me: WHO DID THIS?!
Max: ME!
Me: Maaaax, are you okay?
Max: YEP!
Me: Maxie, this is bad. Look at Mommy, you are NEVER to stick ANYTHING into an electrical outlet. Do you understand?
Max: (jumping and laughing) uh-huh.
Me: MAX! Look at me I want you to say “yes Ma’am”.
Max: Yes Ma’am! (still jumping)
At this point I’m dumbfounded. How he managed to find the paper clip, find the outlet, make the two things meet and not kill himself is mind-boggling. I go get David.
David: MAX LANE DID YOU DO THIS?
Max: YEP!!
David: MAX, THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Max: YEP!!
David: Did you see sparks?
Max (quite excited now): YEP! THERE WAS FIWE AND IT WENT POW!
David and I exchange the “Lord-above-our-child-almost-killed-himself-but-we-aren’t-going-to-show-panic” glance.
David: Max, why would you do this?
Max: uh, I don’t know
David: Did it just look like fun?
Max:(shrugs his shoulders) yeah
I have years of this ahead of me. Conversations that end with me asking “Why would you light your own fart?” or maybe, “Did it seem like a good idea to skateboard blind-folded?” or perhaps, “Why would you shoot yourself with a paint gun?” I would like just one of my friends who has all girls to tell me that they have experienced anything even remotely similar. It doesn’t happen. Girls do not need to experience life in a completely “hands-on” mode. You can say “that is dangerous” and that is enough for them. They don’t still feel compelled to find out exactly how dangerous, the warning was sufficient. Little boys only understand the world by rolling around in it, eating it, tasting it, smelling it, poking it and shoving it into their ear. It’s a miracle any of them survive to see adulthood.
I’m glad he did that on your watch and not mine!!! (not that I’m glad he did it but you know what I mean). 🙂 Whew glad he’s okay.
LMAO!! Oh YES!! THAT…brings back LOTS of memories. I figured if Robert made it to 5 years old, he was going to be okay. I’ll have to tell you a few stories.
I am so sorry you had this experience, and so glad your boy is OK. All I can say is: welcome to the wonderful world of boys. My son was about 3 (now 17) when he got ahold of my car keys and inserted them into the electrical outlet. He received quite a shock! We mom’s just want to know what they were thinking! The problem is that they don’t think like us; they think like little boys: here’s a nice slit in the wall. It looks like the perfect size to put something in. They don’t think about the results.
Good thing they are so dang cute!!
Tami: You are so right. I love my son but he has taught me a lot about parenting and “letting go”. He sees the world in a way that I could never understand.