I don’t remember my mother EVER having a cold, although I’m sure she did. I have some friends who insist that their husband stay home from work until they are well and then I have others who plow through like they aren’t sick at all. I’ve never really been clear on this issue. Unlike other jobs there is no “sick-day policy” for motherhood. I’m going to propose one so as to clear this issue up for families every where.

article 1.0
A sick day is defined as a 24 hour period beginning when a mother designates that she is indeed sick.

article 1.1
If a fever or vomiting exists a husband is required to stay home from work without question or negotiation. However, if children are school-aged and the sick day falls on a school day then the husband is only required to be home after school hours.

aritcle 1.2
If a doctor visit is required (regardless of presence of either fever or vomiting) then husband is required to be at home for doctor’s visit allowing time for travel to and from doctor’s office within a reasonable speed. Again, if children are school-aged then mother should try to schedule doctor’s visit during school hours.

article 1.3
If medication is required that may cause sleepiness or lack of consciousness then husband is required to stay at home. (see article 1.0 regarding school-aged children)

article 1.4
If a hospital visit is required (either planned or unplanned) husband must stay home from work.

article 1.5
If for some reason a husband cannot fulfill his obligation of staying home he must be responsible for finding an acceptable replacement (this replacement must either be a relation or someone that sick mother approves).

article 1.6
Husband is not allowed to negotiate these rules or use guilt-induced pleas like; “Do you REALLY need me to stay home?” or “Oh man, I’ve got this REALLY important meeting today and can’t the kids just watch TV all day?” This also includes challenging how sick mother REALLY is and whether or not she is just being a “baby”.

article 1.6.1 children do NOT watch TV all day. There are diapers to change,
meals to make, bottoms to wipe, arguments to referee and games to be played.

article 1.7
Regardless of seriousness of illness a husband is not allowed, under any circumstances to do any of the following during the duration of the sick day: a.) work late b.) require meals to be made, c.) require laundry to be done, d.) decide to start large, messy project with children.

article 1.8
During the duration of the sick day husband is required to maintain basic household order. This includes cleaning dishes regularly, dressing children, and picking up toys and dirty clothes off of floor. Husband is not required to DO laundry, or CLEAN house (God forbid) but is only required to maintain basic maintenance so sick mother is not left with a pit of despair once health has returned.

article 1.9
During the sick day a mother is not responsible for any nighttime needs of the children. This may include middle of the night bathroom visits, nightmare disbursement, drinking water needs, or bottle feedings.

article 2.0
A mother is allowed 3 sick days for each year of service. Two additional days are granted for each child past one. For example, a mother of 2 who has children the ages of 4 and 2 will have earned 14 sick days. That would be 3 sick days for her 4 years of service and 2 extra days for her second child.

article 2.1
A husband is also required to run to the store to pick up anything required to aid in the healing process of sick mother. This may include everything from picking up prescriptions to purchasing ice cream for a sore throat.

I feel much better just knowing that this policy has been put in place. I recommend that we all print this off and get our husbands to sign it. This will prevent negotiations, martyrdom and general guilt on either side of this problem.