The Teacher Made Me Do It

Our education system has evolved to the point where teachers have really become surrogate parents. We are no longer solely responsible for teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Oh no, we are now responsible for teaching good nutrition, tolerance of others, good self-esteem and other value-based training. The line between teacher and parent has blurred and this is a dangerous place for teachers. Let me give you an example;

It was a typical day in Jones Elementary School. The kindergarten class was sitting in the cafeteria, lunch boxes open. The teachers walked easily through the tables observing the giggling, talking and eating. However, there was one little boy who was being quite active and not eating. He was a little louder, and distracting the other children from eating their lunches. The teachers tried to quiet him down, reminded him to eat his lunch before time was up, but he ignored them. The teacher reminded him again, and again, and again. Typical of five year olds, he was too busy having fun to eat. Lunch bell rang, his lunch got tossed into the garbage. He starts crying that he didn’t get to eat. The teacher reaches back into the garbage where his lunch is sitting on top, having not traveled any further down the trash can and hands it to him to eat – a box of chicken nuggets and a banana (in peel). He eats the lunch while she watches.

That teacher was arrested for “risking injury to a minor” (MSNBC article here). Before we all get defensive about this how many of us have done this in our own house? I have. Many times.

Why would ANYBODY want to be a public school teacher when treating children, as if they were your own, consistently runs the risk of landing yourself in jail? One word from a student accusing a teacher of ANYTHING, regardless of truth, at the minimum can cause public embarrassment and the loss of teaching license and at the worst can land you in jail. It is a profession that is atrociously under paid, requires the constant tolerance of parents who want results without effort, and the wrangling of administrative nonsense. We give our teachers the responsibility of being a parent but then scrutinize them to the point that they are consistently walking a litigious tight rope. I want all of us to think how many times we could be arrested in our own house for the way we treat our children. I kiss my child, hug my child, I yell at my child (and sometimes not very nicely), I spank, I deny, I punish, I even take away food and sometimes I dig food out of the garbage and give it to them. All of these same actions make a teacher susceptible to being fired or arrested.

I’m not saying that all teachers are great, because they are not. And I’m definitely not saying that some teachers act inappropriately, becacuse they do. The vast majority though, are good. I’m calling for the return of common sense. For parents, to take their egos out of the mix and look at the situation honestly. This poor teacher who is being arrested (at 67 years old) did not put that 5 year old in danger. No more than I do when I let Lucy ride her tricycle without a helmet.

Love & Games

Once you and your partner become parents it becomes exponentially more difficult to find time to be together as a couple. Babysitters are expensive and the scheduling alone can cause your head to explode. As any normal couple, David and I have tried to be creative in carving out that essential time that is needed for a happy marriage. One of our favorite things to do is video games. Yes girls, I’m telling you to embrace that video game box that sits in your living room. It is not a source of marital discord but an undiscovered device to build relationships and unexpected connections.

David and I have had some of our best ‘dates’ sitting in our living room playing Lego Star Wars – David is Han Solo, I am Princess Leia. We must work TOGETHER to solve puzzles, fight bad guys and reach our goals. We’ve laughed and chided each other through rounds of Tiger Woods Golf. There have been times when I’ve handed David my controller because I can’t defeat a specific enemy or because I can’t finish a certain task. He doesn’t make fun of me, but sweetly takes over. These interactions during games are just an extension of our real-world relationship. Each of us doing tasks we do well and helping out the other during challenges.

In order to make these game-nights work you must find a game that appeals to both of you. Here are my recommendations:

My persona favorite
My personal favorite

1.) Lego Star Wars or Lego Indiana Jones: David and I love this Lego series of games. They are fun and as stated earlier we get to work together on the same team at the same time. Plus, they are “family-friendly” and so sometimes we let the kids hang out and watch.

2.) Sports: We like sports games that aren’t hard core (games like NFL Madden can be a bit too involved for girls) things like tennis, golf, etc can bring out the competitive edge in both of you and be fun. The Wii has a lot of great sport games, but the one we have liked the most was Tiger Woods PGA golf on Xbox.

3.) Driving Games: There are plenty of driving games, but ones like Mario Kart are silly enough that you won’t devolve into an argument about the last speeding ticket somebody received.

4.) Guitar Hero: Personally, I suck at this game. However, I know plenty of friends who love playing this with their spouse. David is musically trained and I’m tone deaf – it isn’t pretty when we play together.

I know many of you feel like this is a world where you are not welcome but this is not true. I think you will be surprised at the variety of games available and the odds that you will find one that appeals to you is high. However, you need to go into this venture understanding that being good at video games takes patience and practice. Guys, be patient with your girls and the pay off will be an inexpensive home-date that builds communication and team work.

Chaos In The Kitchen: Recession Foods

I have fallen in love with Chaos In The Kitchen. Katie has developed this line of “Recession foods” that I am gobbling up. She has taken all of our favorite convenience foods and developed recipes so you can make them at home at half the price. So far I have made the breakfast burritos and the french toast sticks. Both have been wonderful!! I usually make a big family breakfast on the weekend and so it was easy to make some extra eggs, extra french toast, etc. I followed the directions and now my freezer is full of breakfast items for the week. David has been loving the breakfast burritos and I’ve been loving not having dishes every morning. The french toast sticks are delectably delicious and I have a hard time not eating the kid’s breakfast. Next on my list are the pizza bites!

Lucy: The Master Negotiator

For a long time Max has slept with Lucy in her bed. At first Lucy liked this idea and they would snuggle and giggle with each other. We have always insisted that Max ask Lucy permission before he gets into bed since it is HER bed. Up until recently this has been a formality. Max would ask and Lucy would acquiesce. However, Lucy has begun to be annoyed at Max’s habit of sleeping sideways and she is enjoying the power we have granted her to control Max’s sleeping fate. Now when Max asks to join her in bed she often gives an emphatic “no” which results in Max crying and me begging Lucy to let him sleep in her bed.

Tonight we picked the kids up from David’s aunt’s house after a date night. It was late, they were tired and Max was wailing off and on in the car on the way home. He was being stubborn about watching “Thunderbirds” before bed and since this is a “boy” movie Lucy was very much against this idea. The arguing continued as Lucy wanted to watch “Barbie Mariposa” and Max “Thunderbirds”. Just as the fighting was reaching fever-pitch Lucy struck this bargain:

Lucy: Max, I’ll watch one of your movies if it isn’t “Thunderbirds”
Max: NO “THUNDERBIRDS”!!
Lucy: Okay, if you pick a different movie I will let you sleep in my bed
Max: NO, “THUNDERBIRDS”!!
Lucy: Max, if you don’t watch something else we’re going to have a situation here.

I am so impressed by her negotiating skills here and how she uses the power she knows she wields with the precision of a Labor Union Lawyer. I’m also equally impressed by her use of the word “situation”.

A Review: “Slumdog Millionaire”

David and I hastily squeezed in a date night yesterday and went to see “Slumdog Millionaire”. I know we are terribly late to this

You! Go see this now.
You! Go see this now.

party since it has already one every award available, but hey, we’ve got kids. We loved the movie but the poverty is what left the biggest impression. The absolutely horrendous, mind-boggling, over-whelming poverty that is shown left me devastated. Although the film is a “happy” movie with a sweet ending I left the theatre feeling more like crying than smiling. The first words out of my mouth to David were; “let’s adopt”. If I could rescue each Indian child from living in garbage I would. It was harder to watch that than the children starving in Africa – at least in Africa many are with their families. In Africa they may be victimized by weather, embargos by countries, or being suppressed by government but you don’t sense they are viewed as being less than human. In India it is the absolute disregard for the humanity of these people. The acceptance that it is okay that they live and are treated like packs of wild dogs that I found so disturbing. I’m not sure I’ll ever shake those images lose from my mind and I’m not sure I want to.

For my Mormon friends I want you all to know that it did not include any sex scenes or swearing (except in sub-titles and I’m not sure if that counts). This movie was a story about the eternal bonds of love, as well as a tale of two brothers, morality versus wealth, and the abhorrent poverty that we, as humanity, seem to accept every day.

Lucy and God Part V

Just when I think I’ve run out of things to say Lucy has more questions about God.

Lucy: Mama, who made the world?
Me: God
Lucy: How did he make it?
Me: Well, we don’t really know how which is why it is such a miracle
Lucy: Why is God invisible? and live in the sky?
Me: Well, he doesn’t really live in the sky and we can’t see him because he’s too glorious for us to see.
Lucy: Can you hear God talking in your heart?
Me: Yes, sometimes
Lucy: How?
Me: Well, if you are really quiet, and you ask God for help and you open up your heart you can hear what his answer is.
Lucy: Mama I want every Barbie movie because I want lots of Barbie stuff.

I think I’m getting better at these questions – as long as they don’t get any harder.

Just The Facts

There is this little meme that has recently been floating around Facebook. It is a questionnaire that you are to ask your children. While Max was busy puking last week, Lucy and I completed the questions. Here are her answers. She is 5 years old. My comments are in paranthesis

1. What is something mom always says to you?
We can have drinks
(Wouldn’t CPS love to hear that?)

2. What makes mom happy?
When we listen to you and we don’t roll on the floor at your doctor

3. What makes mom sad?
That we don’t listen to you

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
you make funny faces

5. What was your mom like as a child?
You were like Maggie (Lucy’s cousin. At first I thought this was a strange answer but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I actually was a lot like Maggie)

6. How old is your mom?
4:30

7. How tall is your mom?
33 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
watch movies with me (of course she couldn’t say read or cook or spend quality time together)

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
you clean up (so sad)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
That you will always be my mommy forever!!

11. What is your mom really good at?
good at Lego Indiana Jones (Xbox and I must say that I’m pretty proud of my mad-ninja-video game skills.)

12. What is your mom not very good at?
bad at cooking (wow, I’m crushed by this)
sometimes you are good and sometimes you are bad but I still love you (thanks for that ringing endorsement Lucy)

13. What does your mom do for her job?
cleaning up, cook, school

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?
Ham (which is funny because I HATE ham)

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
When you play games with me

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Tigger

17. What do you and your mom do together?
we color (again she doesn’t mention oh “we read together” or “we make cookies”)

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We’re both girls and we like to paint fake people (yeah, I don’t know what this means)

19. How are you and your mom different?
Your big and I’m small, well, I’m kind of big

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because you say “you’re a good girl”

21. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
To the aquarium and to the store

Apparently I’m not spending near enough time bonding with my daughter.

The Propaganda Is Working

We woke up at 9:00 for a 9:45 doctor’s appointment this morning. We ran the “fire drill” as I dressed everybody and shoved them out the door. On the way to the eye doctor’s office the following conversation occurred in the car:

Me: You guys want me to stop and get doughnuts?
Max: YES! I want leettle doughnuts
Lucy: No thanks. I’m not hungry
Me: Lucy, you aren’t much of a breakfast person are you?
Lucy: No, I like lunch because I can eat healthy foods.
Max: I like doughnuts
Lucy: But Max, doughnuts aren’t healthy. You shouldn’t eat them
Max: waffles?
Lucy: No, waffles aren’t healthy either. You should eat apples and bananas and, um, raisins
Max: pancakes?
Lucy: No, pancakes aren’t healthy either. You need to eat carrots.
Max: I like doughnuts. Chocolate doughnuts and leettle doughnuts (aka doughnut holes)