My best friend Kym came to visit this past Tuesday. I met Kym in college and we quickly became friends and started dating sets of roommates, because that is what best friends do. However our friendship is far deeper than that. Kym is the kind of friend who tells me when I’m wrong, stupid or being prideful. She is the friend who knows that when I’m hurting I make jokes and the better the jokes the worst the pain. She also knows not to laugh. She is frequently the first person I call when disaster strikes and the first person who I want to share my successes with. She’s also a trained therapist and to be honest, it is always good to have a friend who is professionally trained to give you advice. She’s the kind of friend who would make sure my eyebrows got waxed if I was in a coma and loves my children enough to tell them to use their manners and not pick their nose.
When we are young girls our list of friends is long and endless. It is also constantly rotating. By the time we’ve reached high school we’ve narrowed it down to 6 really good friends. College weeds out the friends from high school that don’t merit lifetime friendship and by the time you have kids you are down to 3 or less friends that still call you and will continue to talk to you even while your child screams in the background. Friendship becomes more precious and harder to come by as we get older. Most of my dear friends are spread across the country and we rarely see each other. Most of them have dwindled down to Christmas cards and a yearly phone call, some perhaps just a periodic email with some pictures.
As I can begin to see 40 in my near horizon (far closer than I’d like to admit to) I could not be more appreciative of Kym’s friendship. Perhaps that is why so many women blog – we yearn for that connection, a connection to each other that we miss from grade school. The knowledge and the feeling that we are not alone.
I wish I could’ve met her!!
Great post. My BFF’s name is Alice and we’ve been friends since 3rd grade. We don’t talk for months and then, whamo, one of us crashes and needs the other and picks up the phone. It’s always as if we had just spoken yesterday. There is no emotional distance between us. It has been that way for over 50 years and I find it quite amazing. We just take it as a natural part of our relationship. We’re busy women, we don’t have the time or energy to talk every week, we’re too tired. But just let some real crisis occur(“my father is dying”,”my daughter’s marriage is in trouble”, “my son’s girlfriend is pregnant”) and there we are sobbing on the other’s shoulder for reassurance and advice. What a rare treasure, a BFF. I’m glad you have such a special one.