I hate the fact that I am once again piggy-backing onto the latest momversation, but this one hit close to home. Fertility medicine. While the whole world is abuzz about some random, inept doctor who purposefully got some crazy woman pregnant with 8 babies, millions of other women are desperate for just one. I was one of those women.

Fertility is a strange thing. From the time I entered puberty my cycle was so predictable you could have set a clock to it. My mother was the same way, as was my sister, both of whom got pregnant without planning or problems. The idea that I would have any difficulty conceiving was the furthest thing from my mind. I was married later in life at 30. Not my fault – I couldn’t really control when I met my soul mate. Please take that issue up with God. Within the first year of marriage we decided to have a baby. At the time I thought it would be easy. Stop using birth control, have sex, here comes baby.

Soon months went by without any success. We started being more “purposeful” with our attempts at baby-making. Still no success. Before I knew it the monthly home pregnancy test started feeling like a pee-stick of failure. We went to the doctor and the testing began. We found ourselves at eighteen months of temperature taking, chart making, timing, tests, and nothing. All we wanted was one child of our own. Fertility problems are heart-wrenching. Every month you start hopeful with a new game plan. THIS is going to be the month. You just KNOW it. As the end of your cycle approaches every symptom can either be a signal for hope or despair. You find yourself developing a hyper-sensitivity to your body, “my boobs hurt I MUST be pregnant” or “I feel a little nauseous I’m pregnant”. And then when you pee on that stick and it once again turns up negative all of that hope goes down the toilet. You’re left empty, hollow, desperate, sad.

I don’t know I would have survived that process, that gut-wrenching, emotional roller-coaster without David and my doctor. My sweet, wonderful doctor who never once lost hope. After eighteen months she regretfully told me that she could do no more for us and recommended that we see a fertility clinic for IVF treatments. I knew that at that point our chances for having a baby had just dramatically dropped. David and I would only be able to afford one round of IVF and with only a 50% success rate it might not work at all. I made the appointment and tried to remain optimistic. A week before our appointment at the fertility clinic my first home pregnancy test came back positive. We were going to have a baby.

My story ends there, but there are millions of people whose stories continue. Millions of wonderful, loving, sweet families who want a child of their own and cannot conceive. In most cases it is nobody’s fault. They did not wait until they were too old. They do not live outrageous lifestyles. On the contrary, most have basic biological issues that can easily be resolved with modern medicine and treatments. Of those that cannot be resolved with simple biology, IVF and other fertility treatments are miracles. You can ask any family who has weathered the storm of fertility problems and they will tell you that they would have swapped places with anybody who was able to get pregnant without such assistance. It is an awful, painful experience that I would not want any couple to face.

Most couples would not wish for nor seek multiple births. Every parent wants the same thing; a healthy pregnancy and birth. Purposefully trying for multiple births puts everybody at risk and if we are finger pointing it should be at the doctors that irresponsibly agree to implant multiple eggs. Banning, or over regulating, fertility treatments is going to cause additional stress to families that are already suffering an extremely stressful situation.