Max has thrown up exactly three times and twice was outside of Cheesecake Factory. I don’t want to slander Cheesecake Factory. On the contrary, David and I are rather big fans of the Cheesecake Factory and it is a favorite destination for date nights (we split the Chinese chicken salad, and if we’re feeling saucy we get the pot stickers). And Max has eaten at some Cheesecake Factories with no such reaction, but the Cheesecake Factory at the Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, Texas – well, bad luck.

The first time was when he was two and he was misbehaving at the table. By the time we left he was throwing a full blown temper tantrum. We walked out of the restaurant, into the mall, David carrying him. Max was screaming the whole way and then he promptly threw up all over David. It was actually funny and I laughed out loud. David holding Max with puke all down the back of his t-shirt was a sight to behold. I don’t know, something about years of wearing shirts with baby spit-up seemed to all balance out in that one instance.

Tonight, we waited for close to an hour to get food and by the time the pizza arrived for the kids Max was past the point of reason. He was starving, tired and cranky. He refused to eat, complained that he was cold and whined non-stop. It was a Friday night, so the place was packed and I was trying desperately to keep Max’s behavior exempt from scorn by the fellow patrons. I inhaled two fish tacos and told David to have the rest packed up I was taking the kids out into the mall before any serious temper tantrums began.

I walked outside of the restaurant with Lucy and Max and before I could clear the waiting area Max coughed and vomited brown pumpernickel bread all over the mall floor. Women gasped, teenagers gagged, and I was left with only one option; “Lucy, you and Max stand right here against the wall. DON’T MOVE!! I’m going to go get a towel”. I made a dash back into the restaurant hopeful that he neither vomited again nor a stranger abducted them. I grabbed the first waiter I could find who was holding two freshly starched napkins and I said firmly (but not rudely) “Do you have a towel?” and I boldly eyed the napkins he was holding. “Well” he said slowly “what do you want to clean up? Because these don’t really hold a lot of liquid”. I could not believe that he was going to question the type of spill I was trying to rectify at this moment. I stared right at him and said “I just want a napkin.” I didn’t even wait for a reply, I grabbed the napkin and ran outside where Max was standing horrified and with vomit all down his jacket. Lucy standing next to him shaking. However, they hadn’t moved, as instructed, and for that I was proud. I cleaned up the vomit off the ground and threw away the napkin. (Yes, Cheesecake Factory, I took a cloth napkin, cleaned vomit and threw it away. If you want me to pay you back then bill me). Lucy was shaking with panic and had a thousand question; “Should we tell Daddy? Is Max going to throw up? Should I go get Daddy?” I could see she needed a job and so I told her to go back into the restaurant and tell Daddy. She perked right up and didn’t hesitate to run back into the restaurant.

I walked Max to the mall door so he could get some fresh air and watched the restaurant door for Lucy to return. She bolted out of the door minutes later her eyes brimmed with tears. I flagged her down and she came running up to me tears spilling over and a quiver in her voice; “I couldn’t find Daddy, and I got scared, and is Max going to be okay?” Poor Lucy, so desperate to help with the situation and not able to complete her mission. Max, in the meantime was not crying but was shaking from head to toe – past the point of exhaustion.

I don’t know if it is the Cheesecake Factory at the Stonebriar Mall in Frisco Texas or the fact that both times Max was tired or the Strawberry Lemonade, but something at that Cheesecake Factory does not mesh well with Max. David came out, we gathered everybody up into our arms and walked out to the car. Honestly, I’m just glad I didn’t also throw up. I’m not a mother who handles puke well and I’m amazed that I didn’t make the situation worst but was actually helpful. And for now, I don’t think we’ll be returning to the Cheesecake Factory in the mall.