We, of my generations of mothers, have a question for our parents. Where did all the toys come from? Every parent I talk to between the ages of 25-45 complains about the size and quantity of toys that seem to be over-taking their homes. None of us had a play room growing up and all of our toys seemed to fit into our bedroom. We don’t remember baskets of toys or books tucked under coffee tables or concealed beneath TV sets. We don’t remember birthday parties or Christmas’ when the opening of presents seemed to take longer than any other activity. And yet, we all remember having toys, loving toys, and being well satisfied. So where have they all come from?
Parents complain that grandparents have gotten out of control. That each child is receiving five, six, seven presents from each set of grandparents. Grandparents complain that parents are buying too many toys themselves and spoiling their children. Well, somebody is buying toys and we all need to stop. The same overture is heard again and again in my house during the holidays; “This year we are scaling back. We are giving fewer toys.” And yet, that never seems to happen. Our houses are bigger, our rooms larger, and yet the quantity of toys has grown exponentially larger. Why? I don’t think we all have more disposable income. When I compare my lifestyle now with what I had as a child I think it is similar. I don’t buy toys regularly for my children, but periodically they might be allowed to purchase a toy for accomplishing a special goal, or because of a special behavior. However, I recall my parents doing the same. And yet, the absolute obnoxious amount of toys that seems to spill out of every corner of my house is ridiculous.
Does this have to do with the fact that we no longer trust our children to play outside unsupervised? or ride their bikes around the neighborhood without an adult? Does this have to do with fewer Moms being at home and so fewer houses that kids can run to during the day for an impromptu play date? Does this have to do with our desire to structure our children’s days into camps and lessons and school and athletic activities?
I am rather diligent about staying on top of my kid’s toys and regularly throwing out toys. I’m heartless. I’m brutal. Anything that might be worthy of another child is donated to church, or to charity. And yet, even with my “take no prisoners” style of toy management I’m left overloaded. I don’t even believe in “junk” toys but toys that stir imaginative play. Even with that policy I can’t seem to control it.
So grandparents everywhere, tell me, what has changed? Did you also face these problems? Where are the toys coming from? How do we as parents stop this madness?
Interesting. I have have discussed scaling back for 45 years without success. Good luck. Pa Pa Max
I think that even though it seems like the same methods and restrictions as when we’re kids, the truth is, it’s not. If it truly were, then I don’t think we’d have this problem with toy-overload. I think you’re on the right track with purging, but back in the day (OMG, am I really using that phrase already in life?) kids were forced to be more imaginative with what they had. In a sense, that added component of imagination seemed to multiply what we did have, without adding to the clutter! Don’t you agree? Video games, TV shows and computers have robbed us of that priceless gift, by feeding us everything we ask for. I think so much so that many kids don’t even know what imagination really is – and I know they don’t because when I tell them to use their imagination they respond one of 2 ways: “What’s imagination?” or “Awww, no, I hate that. It’s boooring.”
Well, I get what you’re saying and I know everybody likes to go to the whole imaginary place, but I don’t think that is it. The truth is that computers are part of our kid’s lives – can’t be helped. My kids don’t play video games and most of their toys are blocks, dolls, toy cars, dress-up, etc – toys that encourage imaginary play. But even with those kinds of restrictions in my house I still feel like I have a ton of toys. Two toy train sets, two boxes of dress up clothes, three sets of blocks, three different types of drums, cymbals and instruments, string beads, paper dolls, Barbies, etc. Stuff that isn’t electronic or does all of it for the kids and yet it still seems to be to excess. Why? Are the kid’s rooms smaller? Are we getting toys from more places? different people? I can’t seem to figure it out.
Toys were few in our household. The kids spent most of their time outside playing. I had one very large toy box and ALL or MOST of their toys could fit inside that. Anything broken or outdated got tossed.
As a grandparent now, I have the money to spend freely on grandkids. And because we only have one at the moment, I buy things for her because I love seeing the joy on her face. That joyous look on your child/grandchild’s face is what we all want to see and if a toy can bring that look …..well…what’s the harm?
Another trick is, if you have too many toys,..gather up what you find and put them away in a box for a while. Bring them out at a later date and let the kids discover their “new” toys.
I understand it’s a pain having to find toys scattered over the household, but one day will come when there won’t be any toys to pick up. Just remember what it was like when the kids went to “Nanna’s Camp”. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time.
I never buy toys for anyone!! I resist! I stop!! I argue! I delay !!, I plead poverty!! It’s your mother who cannot pass by any toy without giving it a try. If it is fun she buys it for herself. If she likes it, she sends it on. I’m desperate I am trying to be the anti-santa!! DON’T BLAME ME
Hey, if I’d had more great toys as a child maybe I would have invented the internet (instead of Al Gore). Let’s face it, the stuff wasn’t even OUT THERE to buy and nobody had any disposable income for kids toys except at Christmas. My parents had lived through the depresssion. I always got a doll for Christmas and some new school clothes (and grandma made my doll clothes). My books came from the public library. I was happy!