I feel that part of my responsibility as a female blogger is to bring clarity into the world of marital communication. As most married persons are aware, good, clear, frequent communication is essential to a happy marriage. As a result I would like to discuss the concept of “time” and how it works within a marriage.

#1 “Honey, would you mind changing the child’s diaper”
Husbands, you have approximately 10 minutes to begin this task. More than likely said child is sending out a stench that would make grown men weep or is carrying so much fluid between their legs that more than a diaper change will be required if more time is wasted. If you fail to begin this task within 10 minutes your wife will assume you are ignoring her and/or deciding to not do her this favor.

#2 “Babe, could you empty the garbage?”
This one is tricky since this request needs to be taken into context with other events. Are you expecting guests to arrive? If this is the case then she expects you to have this task completed prior to their arrival. Is the garbage man on his way? Then you better get it out to the curb before she hears the truck. If there are no extenuating circumstances than you probably have 20-30 minutes before she is going to think you are ignoring her.

#3 “Do you think you could get me “x” item down from attic/cupboard/high shelf?”
Unless she specifies a time she needs this item NOW. Do not wait for a commercial break, for you to reach the end of the internet or to go to the bathroom. More than likely she is in the middle of doing something and needs said item immediately. She’s only asking you because you are taller than she is. This is also true for the “Can you open” or the “Can you unscrew” requests.

#4 “Could you run to the store and get me …..”
This must also be taken into context. Is she baking a cake and has only now realized she’s out of sugar? In which case you better high-tale it out of the house and to the store. Is your normally diapered child running around naked? Well, in this case it depends on your tolerance for urine on your floor. More than likely you have anywhere between 5-15 minutes to start this task before an argument will ensue.

The important thing to remember is that all of these tasks are things that she WOULD do if she could. However, for whatever reason she can not, at that moment, do them. She is throwing out a distress signal to her teammate, she is ‘tagging’ you in to the ring. If you were in the middle of a wrestling match you wouldn’t tell Hulk Hogan “hold on a second honey I want to download the new Maroon 5 album” and so the same excuse should not be used with your wife. She is asking for help, at that moment, right now. If none of these circumstance apply to your particular situation than I would stick with no more than 30 minutes. Once 30 minutest have passed said request then nagging will ensue; “don’t forget the garbage babe.” “Babe, remember the garbage?” “Honey, the garbage. Now” You get the idea.

I’m glad I can serve you like this and bring clarity and harmony to your relationships.

Act I

Me: I really think we need to be better about making Max take a nap. When he hasn’t napped he is really prone to having tantrums
David: Why isn’t he napping? BABE! He should be napping EVERY day
Me: I don’t disagree, but he does not take a nap easily. He’s not like Lucy, he fights it every step of the way. Sometimes it’s 3:00 and I still haven’t gotten him to sleep and then it’s too late.
David: Then you need to start putting him down for nap earlier in the day
Me: it’s not that easy
David: HEY, Who is the parent here? You are. He naps. EVERY DAY
Me: Okay, I get it.

Act II
Upon returning from an all day shopping trip with my sister

Me: How were the kids?
David: great, no problems
Me: Did Max nap?
David: nope
Me: He didn’t sleep?
David: yeah, well I didn’t really try to get him to sleep
Me: Baaabe?
David: sorry, I got busy and I forgot. He’ll be fine.

I’m always looking for great recipes to make at Christmas time to give as gifts. I never make any of them, but I’m always looking. Well, this year not only did I find a great recipe, I actually made it.

I got this great recipe for Peppermint Bark from My Baking Addiction who actually borrowed the recipe from The Hungry Housewife. Now the Hungry Housewife used things like cream and real white chocolate, while I followed the Baking Addiction recipe which relied on white chocolate chips and included no cream. All I can tell you is that it tasted fantastic and made some cute gifts. Check them out here.

I will say it doesn’t make a huge batch so if you are planning on multiple gifts you may want to make more than one batch. Great internet sharing and an easy Christmas recipe is “What Works For Me” today.

Ever since having children our Christmas cards have involved the same process.

step #1: I spend 4-8 weeks hunting for cute, creative, original, and coordinating Christmas outfits for the children

step #2: David spends approximately 2 hours hunting down appropriate location for Christmas picture

step #3: David and I argue, fight, gripe and scowl at each other while cajoling the children to sit still, smile, and look at Daddy.

step #4: David takes approximately 178 pictures. One of which will actually turn out

step #5: I develop said picture into cards which we mail out with coordinating holiday stamps.

This year everything followed the plan until we got to #5. After consideration of time, money and postage we decided to go “electronic” this year. David designed the card and we emailed it to our friends and family. In case we missed anybody, I’m posting our card here.

Happy Holidays!!

My mother has always loved Christmas. Ironically, I think she is more passionate about it BECAUSE she is Jewish not in spite of it. She never had Christmas trees, or Christmas presents or anything that went along with it. As a result Christmas growing up in my house was quite the affair. Often it included multiple trees, a plethora of Christmas cookies and matching, themed wrapping paper. When pressed if Santa Claus was “real” my parents would calmly explain that “when you stop believing in him, he stops coming and that is why grown-ups don’t get presents.” It was a simple, straight forward answer and one that she still sticks to today.

I know some people think that telling your children that Santa Claus is real is somehow undermining their trust in you. Personally, that feels like being the biggest party pooper on Earth. My mother is a painfully honest person. As a matter of fact, growing up she never hung our art on the fridge unless she felt it was really good. If she felt we didn’t put true effort into anything we were told so. My mother is still my harshest critic and when I need honest feedback about anything ranging from my clothes to something I wrote I know I can ask her. Her telling me that Santa Claus was real for approximately five years of my entire life in no way tainted that trust or out-weighted the 33 years of her being painfully honest about everything else in my life.

In addition, I think it is funny that people zero in on Santa Claus to be truthful about. How about the fact that Jesus wasn’t actually born on December 24th? That actually Christians borrowed heavily from pagan rituals when establishing the early Christmas tradition? If we are going to be honest about Santa Claus then why stop there? Why not tell your kids that Christmas actually has very little to do with Jesus Christ but is actually a borrowed Roman holiday? If you are going to be TRULY honest, then by golly be honest, otherwise don’t be such a party pooper.

My point is that as parents, we have THOUSANDS of opportunities to build trust with our children. We have countless opportunities to show them that when it comes to the TRULY important things they can count on us to be honest. Is crushing the magic of the Christmas holiday really an integral part of the path to building trust with your children? Personally, I don’t think so.

This is my third year teaching and I’ve realized that there are several factors that must come together to make a class successful. Student personalities must mesh with the teacher’s personality. Just like any other inter-personal relationship not every student is going to like every teacher and vice-versa. In addition, the students must feel comfortable with each other and the teacher must help make the students comfortable. It is very infrequent when all these factors come together, but when it does – well, it’s magical.

This semester I had a group of students in my world literature class that I doubt I will forget any time soon. The challenge with teaching literature is that if nobody reads what you are teaching the class can be VERY dull. I’ve had semesters that I wanted to gouge my OWN eyes out. However, this semester was golden. I started the semester with 16 students and I ended with 15 – an almost unbelievable phenomenon. Not to mention that EVERY student passed. Granted some worked harder than others and some did better quality work than others, but they all showed up, they all participated, and we had a lot of fun. And I mean we had A LOT OF FUN!! Oh yes, we talked about “Paradise Lost” and we talked about “The Aeneid”, but the fun part was getting to know all of them and watching them get to know each other.

Friendships were forged in that class. People made life decisions. Bonds were created, memories made and for three short months I got to watch it all unfold. It was flattering to have them invite me (their incredibly dorky, grown-up, English teacher) to birthday parties, dinners, lunches and this week to their Christmas party. I will miss all of you! Good luck; Amber, Melissa, Jeff, Jarred, Lindsey, Kat, Taryn, Luke, Cory, Nikki, Trey, Evan, Shanna, Yazmin, & Donna.

It is so easy to parent before you have your own kids. The rules are so black and white. As you navigate through stores and restaurants unencumbered you quickly pass judgment on those pathetic excuses for parents. You know THOSE parents. The ones who seemingly have no control over their children. You say things like, “that kid needs a spanking” or “She needs to discipline that child” or ” Why can’t parents control their children?” Much like an armchair quarterback we rattle off advice as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Then we have our OWN kids.

The dirty secret is that at some point in every parents life they are “THOSE parents” or “THAT Mom”. Every woman has her turn at being “THAT Mom”. That Mom who’s kids were running and screaming in the library. That Mom who’s kid flung himself down on the ground in the middle of Target and started screaming. That Mom who bit/hit/scratched the other kid on the playground. That Mom who had to leave in the middle of dinner because their child wouldn’t stop screaming.

For those of us who have joined the ranks of motherhood we know this. We are all too aware of the fact that when we see one of these Moms that we all think “for the grace of God go I”. It will be our turn soon enough. We look at these mothers with compassion, grace, forgiveness and unspoken support. We know the hundred deaths she is dying inside. We know that her heart is beating so hard she can feel it in her feet. We know that she is doing the best she can and behind that tantrum is a reason. We know.

I frequently hear the accusation that there are no “seasons” in Dallas. Although Fall can sometimes be elusive it does visit periodically and this year we’ve had a spectacular Fall. I present the tree in our front yard as proof that Fall really does exist in Dallas.