All posts by blogobeth

Politics

We All Have Dreams

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A former student of mine is an illegal alien.  I’ve written about Jennifer before and her struggles to become a legal citizen – a system that is mired in bureaucracy and unreasonable expense.  With the re-election of Barack Obama Jennifer and her family have been working hard to become legal citizens under the lenient statutes that Obama has rolled out. This is a costly process ($1,500 for Jennifer and her two siblings) and the only reason that they’ve been able to pursue the process is because of donations  (and we are still $300 short).  Jennifer submitted all of her paperwork and the immigration lawyer told her that her case was solid and so when she received her initial rejection, which requested yet more documentation,  she was shocked.  I wanted to share with you the email she wrote to me.  These immigrants are not faceless — not to me.  Many of them are my students and I dare you to read this (unedited) and not cry or feel your heart ache for this brilliant, talented young woman who is facing a dismal future without her papers.

“I wish there was something more you could do, but the letters are more suited to people who see me daily since I need to prove I was here continuously for 2012 and specifically for June 15, 2012. What we think happened is that they didn’t exactly read the letters but just glanced at all the dates, because if they had read them then it would be apparent that 2012 falls between 2011 and 2013. I’m not even joking. One of the letters was our lease agreement for where we’re living now, and we moved in here June 2011 and have been living here since. The letter stated, “Jennifer has resided here since June 2011 to the present date.” Anyone with basic comprehension skills would know that the year 2012 was included there, but I imagine if you just did a cursory glance you’d take note of 2011 and nothing more. I don’t know, it feels like total crap. Ugh.

It’s the fact that it’s not personal that aggravates me actually. And I think aggravates most DREAMERS because we are, above all, human beings you know? I am a PERSON, not just a collection of facts. Like, this is intensely personal for me and one could even say that my entire future is riding on it. I can’t not take it personal. It’s my life. IT’S MY LIFE. And the fact that there’s someone out there who is looking at all of the facts without taking into account everything we’ve been through for this, everything we’ve suffered and lost and sacrificed…that’s hard. It’s hard because all I’ve ever wanted to do was go to school and study and learn and…just be normal, and I’ve never really been able to do that…“

It is so easy for us to cast large stereotypical nets.  We complain that all welfare families are drug addicts.  We complain that all immigrants are lazy drunks who are after our jobs.  (Yes, because there are so many people lined up to mow lawns in 100+ degree heat.) But, we must not lose track that we are a country founded by immigrants, for immigrants – these dark faces that we see staring at us could very well be our grandmothers, grandfathers or ancestors. Would we want the good, ambitious bright individuals thrown out with the proverbial “bath water”?  If we start closing our borders to immigrants than we have lost track of the very heart of this country – the very thing that makes us strong – the very thing that we should be most proud: the American Dream.

Homeschool

And So We Begin

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As most mother’s prepare for the first day of school so do we – only this year the first day of school rests squarely on my shoulders. I find myself swinging between giddy excitement and absolute terror. After spending several months reading books on homeschooling and attending workshops I have come to the startling realization that homeschool is a lot like having a baby – people can tell you what it is like but until you’ve done it you have no idea.  The kids and I have been busy preparing the school room and although I wish I could tell you I bought all new furniture — I didn’t.  My biggest investment was a $40 book sling that I bought for Harper off of Craig’s List. Most of my time, energy and money has been poured into organization and buying books. I’ve bought LOTS OF BOOKS.

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As public school families discuss teacher and room assignments homeschool families talk about curriculum selection. The one advantage I have as an experienced teacher is the knowledge that all textbooks and curriculum seem fantastic during the planning stage before school starts, but can quickly turn to crap midway through a semester. At the end of the day each teacher picks books and curriculum that plays to their strengths.  There are no “right” choices or some “perfect” curriculum that will magically teach any child.  Sometimes, as a teacher, you are simply making the least worst decision.  I thought I would share some of my curriculum choices.

Saxon Math:  I wanted a very detailed, structured and specific math curriculum because it is my weakest link as a person. Saxon Math has come highly recommended and I like the fact that it has a two steps forward, one step back approach to math.  There is a lot of repetition and building on skills.

The Story of the World:  My mother-in-law purchased this set of history books and I went ahead and bought the workbooks to go along with them.  These books teach history chronologically and with a classical bent.  This most definitely plays to my educational background and I agree that history should be taught chronologically – it gets too confusing when bouncing around.

Language Arts:  This is where I’m free-styling.  With two degrees in English I feel pretty confident that I can teach my own children reading and writing.  I didn’t buy a curriculum. I will use some Spalding with Max to help him progress with his reading and comprehension but overall I’m going to focus on a lot of reading books, a lot of oral and written book reports, and story starters.

Music: Lucy is taking violin lessons through the Music Institute of North Texas.  Max will start playing recorder at home this year and we have some field trips planned to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra.

Art: I have purchased two used art textbooks that we will be using in conjunction with the free lesson plans that the Dallas Museum of Art provides.

Handwriting: I’m also using a daily handwriting practice book for both of them.  I have lefties.  They need more practice.

Unit Studies: We are working our science into our unit studies which will include Outer Space, The Human Body and Dinosaurs – for the first semester.

Lucy is also taking dance classes and Max will join Boy Scouts this year.  It will be a full year.

As a teacher there is joy in the planning stage of the school year.  Pencils are sharpened. Bulletin boards are tidy. Lesson plans are neatly written out. The vision of the school year is pure and pristine.  However, the reality of the school year crashes in and we do our best to dodge and weave – accommodating and modifying our plans along the way until the school year ends in a place we never could have foreseen. I know this truth and that is what frightens me.

Family Life, Kids

What’s In A Name?

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Lucy calls me “Mommy” because she fears growing up and away from me.  It is her desire to never lose me that she clings to her childhood.

Max calls me “Mama” because he doesn’t want to be like his sister.  He’s a tough guy  – a guy who doesn’t want anybody to know that in his quiet moments he needs his mommy like everybody else.

Harper  calls me “Mom” because she desperately wants to be a big kid and free of all things that classify her as being a baby –  except actually using the toilet.

Family Life, Kids

Lucy – The Original

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As a parent you are always looking for yourself in your children, and sometimes you don’t have to look very hard.  You need to only talk to Lucy for thirty minutes to know that she is MY daughter.  The similarities range from the same crooked smile to our painfully logical minds (that exclude common sense).  She talks non-stop, has a strong sense of fairness and a passion for words and books that only rivals my own.  And yet, there are times when Lucy surprises me with her own independent streak – when I realize that she is not a smaller version of ME, but a smaller version of herself.

Lucy has developed an interest in photography.  She has been taking pictures on her iTouch for several months now and with a tiny bit of direction from David has started to develop her own “eye”.  She has been mainly experimenting with textures and nature.  Her natural creative and artistic abilities far out strip my own and are more similar to her father – or perhaps her grandmother – or perhaps Lucy.  Wherever it comes from it most definitely does NOT come from me.

I recently got around to decorating the powder room (it has only taken me 3 years to finally get that done, but whatever – don’t judge).  As I pulled together a couple of small items for the bathroom I printed and framed two of Lucy’s pictures.  The first two Lucy Morley originals.

There is a special feeling when your children excel at something in which you have a shared interest, but there is even greater pride in watching them succeed at something for which you yourself are not successful.  Bravo Lucy.

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Kids

Does God Have A Wife? And Other Important Questions

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Lucy has always been a smart child and although I have never officially had her evaluated for being “gifted and talented” she has ranked high enough on other assessments to know that she most likely qualifies for the label.  Lucy has many of the typical characteristics and qualities of a gifted child. She has an excellent memory, strong observation skills, strong verbal abilities, a deep vocabulary, and an exaggerated sense of curiosity.  Recently, I had a friend point out how characteristics of gifted children are very similar to those who have Asperger’s. I nervously laughed because these two diagnoses are frequently confused.

One of  the more common traits of a gifted child is their propensity to ask questions, and not the normal questions of childhood, but an on-going stream of consciousness that would make the most astute scholar scratch their head.  Many children grow out of the “why” stage at around age 5, but that has never happened with Lucy.  Lucy doesn’t ask what time it is she wants to know how the clock works.  The other night she and I took a walk around the neighborhood and within minutes I realized that she was in a question mood.  We didn’t really have a conversation as much as she rattled off the following questions in quick succession until I could no longer bear it and we went home.

“Why can I see the moon during the day?”

“Could the moon crash into the Earth?”

“If the moon crashed into the Earth would it destroy part of the world or the whole world?”

“How does the moon spin around the Earth?”

“Is it always sunny on the moon?”

“Does God have a wife?”

“Does God have relationships?”

“Do you think God works out?”

“Do bugs get sick?”

“Do bugs throw up?”

“How many sections does an ant’s body have?”

“What does heaven look like?”

“Will I be able to eat anything I want in heaven?”

“Is there candy in heaven?”

“Can I stay up as late as I want in heaven?”

At some point Max barked “Lucy! Stop asking questions!” to which she sweetly replied, “Mommy, says asking questions is good.  Mommy says that I should never stop asking questions.”

Yes Lucy, keep asking questions, just try not to ask them all at once and in sequential order.

Family Life, Homeschool, Kids, Teaching/School

The Reading Ranch

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In January when I realized Max was falling behind in school and still couldn’t read the most basic of words I started making phone calls.  I talked with everybody ranging from Max’s teacher to an academic diagnostician (yeah, I didn’t know they existed either).  I called literacy clinics and psychologists and It was during one of these conversations that I was referred to “The Reading Ranch”.

“The Reading Ranch” is tucked up in a small building next to a home security office.  Max and I walked in and found a very small waiting room with a brown leather loveseat on one wall and two chairs on the other.  The walls were decorated with the appropriate western signs and art. After all, it is the Reading RANCH. Max and I barely had time to relax on the tiny couch when Ms. Kim burst into the room.  Her blond hair towered over her small frame, she wore jeans with a western belt buckle and the southern accent to go along with it.  She gently guided Max into a tiny classroom that was just big enough for him and Ms. Kim.  Thirty minutes later Max emerged with a Popsicle and a smile. Ms. Kim invited me into a private room and gave me her assessment. With grand gestures, and a sweet twang in her voice she explained, “WELL, he’s VERY smart.  He just needs some extra time with his basic phonemes.  Don’t know about dyslexia but I would like to meet with him privately for the first couple of months so we can get him caught up with school.”  Max and I established a date and time and left the Ranch.

I would find out later that Ms. Kim is no ordinary reading tutor.  She has extensive experience in education and is in the process of completing her PhD dissertation in phonics. She believes in small classrooms with two students and one teacher.  All of her students receive a lot of individual attention.

Every Tuesday Max would leave school early and we would make our weekly pilgrimage to the Reading Ranch.  I would sit quietly in the waiting room while Max spent an hour, alone, with Ms. Kim.  She would emerge and reassure me that Max was doing great and making progress.  Max, being a boy, would say nothing.

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And then last week as I was tucking Max into bed he asked if he could read a book to me.  I complied and handed him the National Geographic book on sharks that he had picked out.  He opened the book and with ease and speed he read straight through the book stopping only to point out interesting facts.  I tried not to cry.  He read it AND he understood it.

This woman, married to a bull rider and sportin’ cowboy boots has in less than 20 sessions  turned my son into a reader.  This woman has moved mountains.  How do you thank somebody who sees your child not as a number but as a person? How do you show gratitude to somebody who every week told your child “he can” when he thought he couldn’t?

Max will continue at the Reading Ranch, at least for the foreseeable future.  He has now moved on to advanced phonics and handwriting.  However, it is his confidence and belief in himself that has made it all worthwhile.

Teaching/School

This Ain’t Your Mama’s Report Card

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I do not long for the good ole days.  I find that the days of yore are not good, and in many regards bad. I mean, do we really want to return to racism, sexism and illiteracy? Yeah, I will pass. Thanks.  Recently I have been wishing for the return of one thing from the past — good old fashion report cards.  You know, the ones that had either an A, B, C, D or F.  I received Max’s end of year report card and it was four pages long and required a person with a degree in education to explain it to me. I present exhibit A:

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When I handed this to my sister-in-law she simply said, “I would need the key to understand this” — Oy, a key would be nice, too bad they didn’t send one along.  Even a sheet with directions would be nice. Better yet, one would think an end of year parent/teacher conference might be in order, but alas none of that came along with this report.

Emerging, Developing and Still Emerging — what the hell do these terms really mean? I think my favorite part is where the report indicates that he got 29 questions right, but doesn’t tell me out of how many.  Did he get 29 right out of 30? Or 29 right out of 300?  Because that would really skew my attitude about the scores.  And what is a “DRA Report”? I can think of lots of words that start with “DRA”.  Is it the “Dirty Reading Allowance”? or perhaps “Dual Redundant Apple”?  Same goes for the “TPRI” report.  What does “TPRI” stand for exactly? “Technical Personal Racial Indignation”.

As a parent, how am I supposed to be supporting the school and my child appropriately when I can’t even figure out how he is doing.  I consider myself a rather smart person who can handle complex ideas, but this report card has me scratching my head.  And listen, if I am unsure what to make of it, what about the parents for whom English is a second language? Or what about the parents who only have a high school education? And we wonder why we are perpetuating the cycle of ignorance and poverty.

I recognize that I teach business communication and perhaps that makes me sensitive when it comes to these sorts of communication issues, but really?  Come on people, it shouldn’t require a degree in education to figure out your child’s report card.  The need to protect our children’s precious self esteem by doing away with the pass/fail system of grades is not helping anybody — especially the very people that are supposed to be helping these children succeed, their parents.

Family Life, Technology

Choremonster

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I have a confession to make.  I am a complete failure at getting my kids to do chores.  When it comes to delegation I am much better as a manager than I am as a mother.  As the kids have gotten older their messes have gotten bigger.  I’ve reached a point where I either need to say “screw it. I will just hope that we end up on Hoarders” or “fine, I will beat you into submission”.

And don’t bring up “chore charts” with stickers.  I’ve tried that and inevitably Lucy does all her chores, Max’s chores, earns her prize and then Max is left crying.  She also then follows up every request with, “if I do that will I get a star”?  At some point I get so frustrated I rip up the chart, and tell Lucy she’s a “star-grubber” and to back off.  In other words, it isn’t healthy.

A couple of months ago David directed me to Chore Monster and suggested I look into it and see if I thought it might work for our family.

HOLY. COW.

Chore Monster is in no way compensating me or giving me free stuff for writing this blog post, although I would welcome both because I’m not above selling out.

THIS APPLICATION IS A MIRACLE.

I no longer have to remind my kids what chores they need to do because they both can access a customized list via their electronic device (for my kids it is old i-touch phones). They get reminders when chores are due.  They earn points for each completed chore, and then they can cash these points in for prizes.  DO YOU KNOW ALL THE PROBLEMS THIS HAS SOLVED?

1. ) My kids don’t ask me for ANYTHING – because now they know if they want something they need to earn enough points.  Instead, they just ask me to add it to the prize list.

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2.) I don’t have to nag at my kids to do their chores because they know what they are supposed to do, and if they don’t – they don’t get prizes.

3.) No stealing chores.  Now they each have their own list, and most importantly, they can keep track of their OWN chores.  Checking them off when complete.

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In addition, when the kids complete a certain number of chores they get to play ‘MONSTER CARNIVAL’ which is this little game where they get to spin a wheel and win monsters that they collect. The Carnival, along with other games the kids can play comes with a membership which is about $30 for 6 months.  If you want to use the basic chore application it is free – FREE!!! We started with the free version but after seeing how great it was working with our kids we quickly upgraded.

The interface is cute, slick and easy to use.  The tech support is fantastic with personal emails and fast response. I even made a recommendation for improved navigation and it was changed within 48 hours.

The only critical thing I have to say is that it took us some time to set it up.  David and I probably invested a total of 3 hours spread out over a couple of days to tweak chores, points and rewards to the point where we liked it.  However, it has made the weekly grind of getting chores done so much easier. Not to mention that now Max and Lucy COME TO ME with ideas of chores I can add or ways they can help around the house.  They are willingly making beds, emptying the dishwasher, picking up toys and doing laundry — and that is priceless.