Two weeks ago we were going to take a mini-break. I had booked a hotel in Fort Worth and purchased four tickets to see the “Imagination Movers” at the Bass Performance Hall. It was going to be the perfect family get away. The day before we were to leave Max landed in the hospital. Of course we didn’t think twice about canceling our plans and the tickets to the show sat at home unused. In the back of my mind I remembered that David had already scheduled two days off during Spring Break and so it made sense that we would just reschedule the vacation for then.

Some plans are best left canceled. God was trying to send me a message and I was ignoring the signs. Once again, the night before we were to leave for our re-scheduled vacation Max came down with a 103 degree fever. Most sensible people would have canceled again but their were plans in place. PLANS PEOPLE!! Plans that I had labored over. Plans that I had already been forced to reschedule once. Plans that I had researched, plotted and organized very carefully. PLANS!! I conceded to postpone our plans by a day but we were not canceling. (Yeah, did I mention I can be prideful and stubborn too?)

When Max woke up fever free on Saturday I was ready to go. We drove over an hour to go to the Fort Worth Zoo where we were met by a record number of visitors. Hmm. Who could have foreseen a large crowd at the zoo on a Saturday during Spring Break? Let me summarize our experience at the zoo: TOO MANY PEOPLE AND TOO MUCH WALKING. We walked close to a half-mile to even get to the entrance of the zoo. Max, overwhelmed by the sheer number of big people, and the fact that we couldn’t rent a stroller, went into a full-blown anxiety attack. He whined/cried for the next 3 hours.

The hotel was beautiful and David, recognizing the delicate emotional state of his son, ordered over a $100 in room service. We curled up on the couch and watched “Bolt” on pay-per-view. Max refused to eat. Max refused to watch the movie. The next day when we went to the IMAX movie theater Max would not stop crying. Did I mention that we spent close to $50 in movie tickets? David and Max saw the lobby and Lucy, terrified of the surround sound, saw my armpit.

This was definitely NOT THE PLAN.

The problem this weekend was not the plan – it was me. It was my unmitigated desire to have everything follow a plan. It was my prideful need to want things to go according to MY plan not God’s plan. If I could go back over my life and point to all the times that God has tried to teach me this lesson, well, I could write a book. My children were given to me to teach me to “let go” of the plan. To stop worrying about the plan.

When Max gets stressed or anxious he cries, and throws temper tantrums. He’s not a bad kid. He’s a scared kid. In my need and desire to make this the “perfect family weekend” I over-booked Max. Instead of being in the moment and allowing my son to be himself, I flexed my fist of control. I insisted that nothing was going to disrupt MY plan. Yeah, that didn’t work out so well.

I’d like to think that I’ve learned my lesson. I’d like to think that I could tell God, “yeah, I get it. I don’t need to learn this lesson again”. Unfortunately, I will do it again, and God will laugh.

Jane, over at What About Mom has “interviewed” me blog-style. This means that she posted some questions on her site and has publicly called me out to answer them on my blog. Since I’m rather fond of Jane and I thought the questions were interesting, I figured I’d answer. At the end of this I get to tag my own peeps with my own questions. So, keep reading

1.) Which of your kids do you worry about most? Why?
I worry about both of them for different reasons. I understand Lucy’s shyness and the need for her to overcome her fears. I was that same fearful child. My mother gently (and sometimes not so gently) pushed me and forced me to adapt. It is important that I do the same for her. She’s also such a “people-pleaser” that I worry that she will be susceptible to peer pressure.

I worry about Max because I fear that he has the Callaway-temper. My family has a tendency to lack social tact and to force our way through life. It is a little early to tell so we’ll see. I also worry that he’ll be short. That fear is pretty stupid though so I try not to think about it too much.

2.) How did you know your husband was the right man for you? Have you ever seriously doubted that in the years since getting married, and if so how did you work it out?
I love this question. Well, I suppose there were several things about David that made me realize he was the right man for me; his beautiful blue eyes, his warm smile, his non-stop sense of humor. But, I really need to acknowledge God in this situation. There have been about six times in my entire life where I felt like God was screaming at me and meeting David was one. If God could have put a neon sign on David’s head that was flashing “HE’S THE ONE!!” — well, that is what it felt like.

David and I have had our share of fights. Some of them not so pretty (ask David about his great wall patch). However, I’ve actually never doubted that he is the person I am supposed to be with. At times I’ve wanted to bonk him on the head or throw shoes at him (that never make it into the closet) but never leave him.

3.) Have you ever practiced your acceptance speech for an award that is pretty out of your league? Which award? and how does your speech start?
I cannot even believe I’m about to say this in public. Sigh. The Academy Awards for screenplay writing. Yes, it is not all that romantic, but there it is. However, my speech would be the same as my dedication in my book; “I want to thank my parents for always being honest and encouraging me. I want to thank David for always challenging me to be better and my kids because without them I would have nothing to write about”.

4.) Has the recession affected you yet? How? Are you afraid of what’s to come?
We’ve been pretty lucky. The housing slump hasn’t really affected Dallas all that much because housing prices were never all that high. David and I have always lived beneath our means and never on credit so we’re in good shape there. David’s job feels pretty secure and teachers rarely get laid off. However, before everybody starts throwing stones at me we had our own recession when the Internet bubble burst. David and I went over a year without either one of us having full-time jobs. We free-lanced, we ran our own business, we managed. So, we’ve had our bad times and survived.

5.) Underwire or not?
Underwire. However, I am an oddity in my family. I have been “blessed” with certain “attributes” that gravity and having children have not been kind to. Without modern science and the beauty of an underwire I would be — well, it would be bad.

Now my turn. Since Jane tagged me, I suppose it would be in bad form to tag her back so I won’t. I’m going to single out Anne (The Daily Digress), and Rebecca (Ezra Pound Cake). I have selected these two because I think they should meet each other. (Anne this is Rebecca, she likes to cook. Rebecca, this is Anne, she likes to eat). Although I’ve singled out these two I would like to hear everybody’s answers so feel free to leave them in the comment box. If you answer them on your blog then hey, link back to me (or Jane). Cool?

1.) If you could magically excel at any profession(outside of your current one) what would it be?
2.) What is the one thing you hate about blogging? Why?
3.) Besides where you currently live, is there another city you wish you could live? Why?
4.) List one food that is in your pantry that you are embarrassed to own and why did you originally purchase it?

And with that, I’m taking a couple of days off. David and I are taking the kids to Fort Worth for the weekend. We’re going to the zoo, the IMAX theatre, and the Cowgirl museum. However, I think it is the hotel pool the kids are the most excited about.

Our education system has evolved to the point where teachers have really become surrogate parents. We are no longer solely responsible for teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Oh no, we are now responsible for teaching good nutrition, tolerance of others, good self-esteem and other value-based training. The line between teacher and parent has blurred and this is a dangerous place for teachers. Let me give you an example;

It was a typical day in Jones Elementary School. The kindergarten class was sitting in the cafeteria, lunch boxes open. The teachers walked easily through the tables observing the giggling, talking and eating. However, there was one little boy who was being quite active and not eating. He was a little louder, and distracting the other children from eating their lunches. The teachers tried to quiet him down, reminded him to eat his lunch before time was up, but he ignored them. The teacher reminded him again, and again, and again. Typical of five year olds, he was too busy having fun to eat. Lunch bell rang, his lunch got tossed into the garbage. He starts crying that he didn’t get to eat. The teacher reaches back into the garbage where his lunch is sitting on top, having not traveled any further down the trash can and hands it to him to eat – a box of chicken nuggets and a banana (in peel). He eats the lunch while she watches.

That teacher was arrested for “risking injury to a minor” (MSNBC article here). Before we all get defensive about this how many of us have done this in our own house? I have. Many times.

Why would ANYBODY want to be a public school teacher when treating children, as if they were your own, consistently runs the risk of landing yourself in jail? One word from a student accusing a teacher of ANYTHING, regardless of truth, at the minimum can cause public embarrassment and the loss of teaching license and at the worst can land you in jail. It is a profession that is atrociously under paid, requires the constant tolerance of parents who want results without effort, and the wrangling of administrative nonsense. We give our teachers the responsibility of being a parent but then scrutinize them to the point that they are consistently walking a litigious tight rope. I want all of us to think how many times we could be arrested in our own house for the way we treat our children. I kiss my child, hug my child, I yell at my child (and sometimes not very nicely), I spank, I deny, I punish, I even take away food and sometimes I dig food out of the garbage and give it to them. All of these same actions make a teacher susceptible to being fired or arrested.

I’m not saying that all teachers are great, because they are not. And I’m definitely not saying that some teachers act inappropriately, becacuse they do. The vast majority though, are good. I’m calling for the return of common sense. For parents, to take their egos out of the mix and look at the situation honestly. This poor teacher who is being arrested (at 67 years old) did not put that 5 year old in danger. No more than I do when I let Lucy ride her tricycle without a helmet.

Once you and your partner become parents it becomes exponentially more difficult to find time to be together as a couple. Babysitters are expensive and the scheduling alone can cause your head to explode. As any normal couple, David and I have tried to be creative in carving out that essential time that is needed for a happy marriage. One of our favorite things to do is video games. Yes girls, I’m telling you to embrace that video game box that sits in your living room. It is not a source of marital discord but an undiscovered device to build relationships and unexpected connections.

David and I have had some of our best ‘dates’ sitting in our living room playing Lego Star Wars – David is Han Solo, I am Princess Leia. We must work TOGETHER to solve puzzles, fight bad guys and reach our goals. We’ve laughed and chided each other through rounds of Tiger Woods Golf. There have been times when I’ve handed David my controller because I can’t defeat a specific enemy or because I can’t finish a certain task. He doesn’t make fun of me, but sweetly takes over. These interactions during games are just an extension of our real-world relationship. Each of us doing tasks we do well and helping out the other during challenges.

In order to make these game-nights work you must find a game that appeals to both of you. Here are my recommendations:

1.) Lego Star Wars or Lego Indiana Jones: David and I love this Lego series of games. They are fun and as stated earlier we get to work together on the same team at the same time. Plus, they are “family-friendly” and so sometimes we let the kids hang out and watch.

2.) Sports: We like sports games that aren’t hard core (games like NFL Madden can be a bit too involved for girls) things like tennis, golf, etc can bring out the competitive edge in both of you and be fun. The Wii has a lot of great sport games, but the one we have liked the most was Tiger Woods PGA golf on Xbox.

3.) Driving Games: There are plenty of driving games, but ones like Mario Kart are silly enough that you won’t devolve into an argument about the last speeding ticket somebody received.

4.) Guitar Hero: Personally, I suck at this game. However, I know plenty of friends who love playing this with their spouse. David is musically trained and I’m tone deaf – it isn’t pretty when we play together.

I know many of you feel like this is a world where you are not welcome but this is not true. I think you will be surprised at the variety of games available and the odds that you will find one that appeals to you is high. However, you need to go into this venture understanding that being good at video games takes patience and practice. Guys, be patient with your girls and the pay off will be an inexpensive home-date that builds communication and team work.

I have fallen in love with Chaos In The Kitchen. Katie has developed this line of “Recession foods” that I am gobbling up. She has taken all of our favorite convenience foods and developed recipes so you can make them at home at half the price. So far I have made the breakfast burritos and the french toast sticks. Both have been wonderful!! I usually make a big family breakfast on the weekend and so it was easy to make some extra eggs, extra french toast, etc. I followed the directions and now my freezer is full of breakfast items for the week. David has been loving the breakfast burritos and I’ve been loving not having dishes every morning. The french toast sticks are delectably delicious and I have a hard time not eating the kid’s breakfast. Next on my list are the pizza bites!

For a long time Max has slept with Lucy in her bed. At first Lucy liked this idea and they would snuggle and giggle with each other. We have always insisted that Max ask Lucy permission before he gets into bed since it is HER bed. Up until recently this has been a formality. Max would ask and Lucy would acquiesce. However, Lucy has begun to be annoyed at Max’s habit of sleeping sideways and she is enjoying the power we have granted her to control Max’s sleeping fate. Now when Max asks to join her in bed she often gives an emphatic “no” which results in Max crying and me begging Lucy to let him sleep in her bed.

Tonight we picked the kids up from David’s aunt’s house after a date night. It was late, they were tired and Max was wailing off and on in the car on the way home. He was being stubborn about watching “Thunderbirds” before bed and since this is a “boy” movie Lucy was very much against this idea. The arguing continued as Lucy wanted to watch “Barbie Mariposa” and Max “Thunderbirds”. Just as the fighting was reaching fever-pitch Lucy struck this bargain:

Lucy: Max, I’ll watch one of your movies if it isn’t “Thunderbirds”
Max: NO “THUNDERBIRDS”!!
Lucy: Okay, if you pick a different movie I will let you sleep in my bed
Max: NO, “THUNDERBIRDS”!!
Lucy: Max, if you don’t watch something else we’re going to have a situation here.

I am so impressed by her negotiating skills here and how she uses the power she knows she wields with the precision of a Labor Union Lawyer. I’m also equally impressed by her use of the word “situation”.

David and I hastily squeezed in a date night yesterday and went to see “Slumdog Millionaire”. I know we are terribly late to this

party since it has already one every award available, but hey, we’ve got kids. We loved the movie but the poverty is what left the biggest impression. The absolutely horrendous, mind-boggling, over-whelming poverty that is shown left me devastated. Although the film is a “happy” movie with a sweet ending I left the theatre feeling more like crying than smiling. The first words out of my mouth to David were; “let’s adopt”. If I could rescue each Indian child from living in garbage I would. It was harder to watch that than the children starving in Africa – at least in Africa many are with their families. In Africa they may be victimized by weather, embargos by countries, or being suppressed by government but you don’t sense they are viewed as being less than human. In India it is the absolute disregard for the humanity of these people. The acceptance that it is okay that they live and are treated like packs of wild dogs that I found so disturbing. I’m not sure I’ll ever shake those images lose from my mind and I’m not sure I want to.

For my Mormon friends I want you all to know that it did not include any sex scenes or swearing (except in sub-titles and I’m not sure if that counts). This movie was a story about the eternal bonds of love, as well as a tale of two brothers, morality versus wealth, and the abhorrent poverty that we, as humanity, seem to accept every day.

Just when I think I’ve run out of things to say Lucy has more questions about God.

Lucy: Mama, who made the world?
Me: God
Lucy: How did he make it?
Me: Well, we don’t really know how which is why it is such a miracle
Lucy: Why is God invisible? and live in the sky?
Me: Well, he doesn’t really live in the sky and we can’t see him because he’s too glorious for us to see.
Lucy: Can you hear God talking in your heart?
Me: Yes, sometimes
Lucy: How?
Me: Well, if you are really quiet, and you ask God for help and you open up your heart you can hear what his answer is.
Lucy: Mama I want every Barbie movie because I want lots of Barbie stuff.

I think I’m getting better at these questions – as long as they don’t get any harder.