All posts by blogobeth

A Penny Saved

June 17, 2009 blogobeth 4 Comments

My mother is a frugal woman and she is very proud of her ability to always save for things that are important to her. If she wanted a new refrigerator she would take an envelope, write “new fridge” on the front, and every month she would add a little money to it. It is not a fancy system but it worked for my mother and she has saved and purchased everything from trips to Europe to new cars. From the time I was a small child I can remember my mother doing this, and encouraging me to do the same. When I was twelve years old I saved my babysitting money so I could buy my own phone for my bedroom. It was a simple, white, princess phone and it cost $20, but I paid for it and it was in MY room; lesson learned.

I am now a mother who is raising children in the age of entitlement. Everywhere I turn I see kids who feel that they are “owed” certain privileges and possessions. They expect their parents to buy them a car, cell phones, clothes, trips, etc. I want to empower my children with the knowledge of hard work and the wisdom of saving. I want them to feel the pride that can only come from having saved, scraped and sacrificed for something you desire. Let me introduce you to “The Jar”.

Our old cookie jar is storing more than cookies

I sat down with the kids several weeks ago and had the following conversation:

Me: Okay, we want to go to Disney World when Max is 5. So, we need to start saving money now so we have enough. Mommy is going to put this jar here. Every time we get some extra money we are ALL going to put it in the jar and before we know it we will have the money to go.

Lucy: Can I put in my piggy bank money?

Me: That is your decision. It is your money

Lucy: I want to put in my money. (she retrieves her bank and empties it into the jar). Max, do you want to put your bank money in here too?

Max: YEAH!! ( they get his bank and empty it into the jar)

Me: okay, that is great! I’m really proud of you. Now, we need to think about things we can sell and other ways we can make extra money.

This has caused Lucy to think of different chores she can do in order to earn “Disney dollars”. Her list includes things like; learn to tie her own shoes, sleep in her own bed all night, clean the playroom, and be nice to Max. David and I spent the weekend selling things on Craig’s List (which I love) and letting the kids take the cash and put it into the jar. By the end of the first weekend the jar had over $200.

Previously if the kids found change loose in the house they would fight over whose bank it was going to go into, but now they both rush to put it into the jar. It is not about what “I” want to buy, but what we can do together as a family.

I realize now, as an adult, that the responsible behavior my parents exhibited has left an indelible mark on me. Many people today struggle with the idea of how to save, but for my mother it was always so simple; just a little bit, every month. And so it will be for my children too.

Kids

Max: The Child Who Says “No”

June 15, 2009 blogobeth 1 Comment

Dear Max,

This weekend you learned to use the potty. I realize that as a teenager you will be sufficiently horrified that I felt it necessary to tell the whole world about this milestone, but I have a reason. You, my dear son, do not like to do new things. You like going to new places, you like new people, and you like new food. You do not, however, like doing any activity that isn’t forced, required or outside of your comfort zone.

You were 15 months old before you started walking because you deemed it unnecessary. After all, you were a mighty fine crawler and it seemed silly to rock the boat. You only recently would even go into the water to THINK about swimming and that is because I FORCED you to swim with me. You cried. You screamed. You then realized it wasn’t so bad. This is the same process I used to potty train you. After waiting a ridiculous amount of time for you to “naturally” be ready to use the toilet I woke up Saturday and said to myself; “today is the day”! I proudly announced to you that there would be no more diapers or pull-ups. You could wear underwear or go naked and I didn’t care if you cried, which you did. You cried some more and then Daddy showed you how to pee standing up and all was right in the world. You now proudly acknowledge that you “love” underwear. Really? Because less than 24 hours ago you were throwing a temper tantrum that you hated underwear and you were NEVER going to wear it.

While your sister finds comfort in visiting the same places with the same people, you find comfort in wearing the same clothes and doing the same activities. You are still wearing t-shirts from over a year ago because you refuse to wear any of the new shirts I buy you. You won’t wear long pants but instead, insist on wearing “tiny pants” (otherwise known as shorts). It is not the routine of the day that comforts you, but the knowledge that you have control over certain aspects of your life. Every child is different and I’m realizing that you need to be pushed at different times, at different stages than your sister. Lucy fears change – you just don’t want to put the energy into adapting.

Consider this a warning, cuz boy, I’m on to your game.

Technology

iPhone Applications For You And Me

June 14, 2009 blogobeth 4 Comments

I’ve discussed before my absolute, complete, and utter adoration of my iPhone. Up until recently cell phone technology has held little interest for me. While some people mastered all the many function of their cell phones I used mine only as a phone. Then it happened – David bought me an iPhone and my life has forever been changed. I frequently tell people that next to my mini-van (which I’ll discuss in a later Tech ‘o Beth feature) my iPhone is my absolute most necessary mommy device. From the simple ability to balance multiple calendars on one phone (this way David and I are always in sync and never have to worry about double-booking each other) to the convenience of being able to take photos of the kids and instantly email them to my parents. I love, love, love this device and if you don’t own one you must do whatever it takes to get one in your possession. (and I mean ANYTHING!!)

One of the coolest things about the iPhone is the ability to download applications that cover everything and anything you can think of, from a menstrual cycle tracker to games that can entertain your kids. Here is a short list of five of my “must-have” applications for the iPhone:

1.) Restaurant Nutrition by Healthy & Fit Communities

This little application provides you with the menu and nutritional information for almost all the major chain restaurants. Trying to figure out whether a Big Mac is better for you than a Quarter Pounder? Well, you can find that information here. Want to decide if you should take your kids to Chilis or Boston Market? You can see what their menus have from this little device. It also allows you to map the nearest location of any of the restaurants listed (I use this all the time to find an Arby’s. They never seem to be close). I love this application for its ease of use and the fact that it is always updating with new information and data. I feel so much more empowered to make smart food selections for my kids with this application at my fingertips. The best part? It’s FREE. That is right, it is one of the many free applications you can download for the iPhone.

2.) Facebook & Twitterific

As a blogger I like to keep in constant contact with my blogging peeps. My online community is a big deal to me and almost every tool that I use online to stay connected has an iPhone app that can be easily downloaded and used. This is a no-brainer, but these are also two apps I use every day, every hour.

3.) Flixster

The number one thing David and I like to do on date nights is go to the movies. However, we are notorious for not deciding on a film or a time until we are half-way through dinner. Usually I’m the one frantically trying to print the film listings from my computer as we race out the door. Now, no more worries. Flixster allows you to identify your “favorite” theaters and see all the current films and show times. It is wonderful and alleviates so much stress from date night. You can also access trailers, descriptions and critic reviews.

4.) Lose It! by FitNow

This application allows you to set a goal weight and then determine how quickly you want to lose the weight. (1lb a week, 2lbs a week, etc). It then calculates how many calories you should eat each day. It provides you with a log where you can track your food intake and track your fitness. In addition you can customize if you want to track sodium, carbs, fat, etc. This was another free application and I love it. It is very user friendly.

5.) Games

Now, the iPhone comes with a built in iPod which is great for storing cartoons. I have saved my sanity more than once by having the ability to instantly provide my children with ten minutes of a Dora cartoon. The other component to this though are the games you can download. There are hundreds to choose from but the ones my kids like to play the most are “Rolando” by Hand Circus and “Spore” by EA. David and I are rather partial to a good electronic solitaire game and there are several word puzzles you can download. All of these are perfect for when you are waiting at the gynecologist’s office pretending that you aren’t naked and cold.

This barely touches the surface of fantastic applications for the iPhone. If you have a favorite please tell me about it in the comments section. Don’t keep great apps to yourself! Technology, for me, is all about function. What can it do for me? And I can honestly say I use EVERY SINGLE function and feature of my iPhone. If I could give every mother in the world two things it would be a cleaning lady and an iPhone.

Food, Personal

The Menu Of My Life

June 11, 2009 blogobeth 18 Comments

1977

The Ohio summer air was warm and muggy. My friend Vicki and I had spent the day perfecting our rollerskating skills on my driveway. I had white skates with a big blue stripe down each side, and large blue pom poms with bells in the middle. Vicki and I were sweaty and tired and tumbled into the house eager for a snack. Our young, awkward bodies scampered onto the bar stools near the kitchen. We explosively giggled as we gobbled up bologna and cheese rolled up and secured with a toothpick. We washed it down with the cool, sweet, sugary syrup of Kool Aid. The simple textures and tastes of childhood. Vicki and I debated our next move; Barbies or dress up?

1987

John was handsome, popular, in drama club, and my first boyfriend. Why he chose to go out with me instead of all the pretty girls in our school I still don’t know. The mother of our friend Jamie owned a small cafe in town. On Fridays she would open the cafe an hour early for Jamie and his friends to eat breakfast before school. John used to always order coffee and it made him seem so grown up. I desperately wanted to seem as mature and sophisticated as him but I couldn’t get past the bitterness of the coffee. I started ordering black tea. We sat around old restaurant tables with red vinyl chairs drinking coffee, tea and relishing homemade blueberry pancakes. For the first time in my awkward adolescence I belonged.

1998

He didn’t have any money to take me out. I knew that. We sat across from each other in a small deli and split a club sandwich and a bowl of broccoli cheese soup. It was cold outside and it didn’t feel all that much warmer sitting in the booth. I don’t think either one of us noticed. We talked about everything, nothing, and things that now no longer seem important. The soup was warm, the sandwich simple and as we walked out of the restaurant I told him to kiss me. He did.

2000

We collapsed on the small, stiff couch in the hotel room. The “President’s Suite” was a disaster. The fireplace didn’t work and the toilet instantly overflowed. This wasn’t at all how we imagined spending our wedding night. I was still in my fairy tale dress and he in his tux. I silently wandered into the bathroom and peeled off my wedding dress and slid on a pair of soft work out pants and a t-shirt. I emerged from the bathroom to see him laying on the large bed holding two glasses of champagne and the stack of wedding cards. I curled up snug next to him. He handed me the champagne glass. We whispered, toasted, and the cold, sparkly, sweetness glided down my throat. We laughed and told stories about our wedding as if we had been guests and not the people exchanging vows. We delicately opened each card, reading the words out loud, and commenting on the giver.

2004

The cramping had grown worst as the night progressed and by 5:00 AM I gave up trying to sleep. I quietly crept out of the bedroom and into our over-stuffed recliner. I tried timing the pains but I never could determine starting and stopping times. David poked his head out of the bedroom and said; “are you okay? Why are you up?” He never heard me wake up before so I was startled to see him standing there. I sheepishly replied; “I’m having some contractions, but I don’t think it is anything big.” A big smile spread across his face and he said confidently; “you’re in labor”. I thought it was rather smug of him to be so confident when he wasn’t the one having the pains and I was a good five weeks away from my due date. He grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch, “I’m going to lay down here with you. Wake me up if they get stronger.” I closed my eyes and tried to ignore them. The fact that this strategy hadn’t worked for the past four hours didn’t seem important. By 7:00 AM I knew we were going to be making a trip to the hospital. I methodically took a shower, shaved my legs, got dressed and stood in the kitchen. They woudn’t feed me in the hospital so I had to eat now. Nothing sounded good to eat. The house was eerily quiet as I poured a bowl of Cheerios. The loud crunching in my mouth felt like an intrusion into the moment. I was becoming a mother. Soon my life would be something I couldn’t imagine. The bowl ceremoniously clanked into the sink. I woke David and we drove to the hospital.

________________________________________________________________

This is my entry for this month’s Write Away Contest at Scribbit.

Blogging

Welcome To My New Home

June 8, 2009 blogobeth 16 Comments

David asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day and I said “I want a new design for my blog and I want you to migrate me to Word Press”. Although he agreed to do it, I think secretly he was hoping I was going to say, “Oh honey, your love is enough gratitude for the job I do every day”. I guess this means he won’t be asking me this question in the future.

This is the problem; David is an award-winning Interactive Creative Director. David has actually been widely recognized for his creative talents designing web sites (a multiple Addy winner, multiple W3 winner, and a contender at the Cannes Ad Festival). As a result, he doesn’t have the time, energy or interest to design his wife’s blog. It is like asking Pavarotti to sing at your birthday party, not exactly the best use of his talent. However, in David’s defense he has always been 100% enthusiastically supportive of my blogging endeavors and I must say he has done a mighty fine job with the new design. I guess I’ll scratch his back later (this is the ultimate love currency in our house. David will pretty much do anything for me if I agree to scratch his back for an indefinite period of time).

Cool New Features

Take some time to look around. I’ve added some new pages about me and reorganized my blog roll. As part of this new redesign I’m also launching two new regular features on my blog. The first one is “Techn’o Beth” a regular post about the latest gadget, gizmo or technology thingy that I think women cannot live without. I love technology and have felt for a while that I haven’t spent enough time really sharing this interest of mine here on the ole blog so expect to see more of that in the future. The second new feature will be “Bullseye on the Blogger”. I will be interviewing and featuring different bloggers. I’m hoping to talk with the bloggers that have inspired me and whom I feel provide great quality content on a regular basis.

Give Away Time

Now for the fun part — in order to celebrate the redesign All Children’s Furniture has been kind enough to give me one of their great toys (A Step2 Art Easel) to raffle off here. To learn more about the contest and All Children’s Furniture go to the “contest” page or just comment here to win.

I also want to take this moment to thank my faithful readers, without whom this would be a one way conversation. I also want to welcome any new readers and let you know that this relationship works best if you have really low expectations of me – that way I can always exceed them. Make sure you leave a comment and let me know what you think of the new design and enter the give away.

UPDATE:

Ashley Moshell of “Team Moshell” won the Step2 Art Easel from All Children’s Furniture. Congratulations Ashley!!

Family Life, Personal

Coming Home

June 1, 2009 blogobeth Leave a comment

I attended high school and college in Michigan and even though I didn’t “grow up” in Michigan I still consider it home. We’re visiting my parents this week, staying in the same house where I experienced my worst heart breaks, my first job offers and finally left to become an adult. The bed is different, the room rearranged and yet the view out the window is the same. It’s hard to reconcile the ultra familiar with the strangely unknown. I walk into this house not as an occupant but as a visitor. I walk thru the door not as a young woman seeking her path in life, but as a mother with children.

Because I don’t see my parents on a regular basis it is as if we have to adjust to being two new people every time we see each other. I am no longer a child, and my mother is no longer the happy hummingbird buzzing around our lives. My mother, long wracked with the pain of arthritis, stenosis, and fibromyalgia, is frustrated, uncomfortable, tired and weak. She is occupied with finding new homes for old memories. As I shuffle through pictures of me with a parade of old boyfriends sitting on the same couch, with the same windows in the background, it makes those memories seem pointless. They are pictures of a life that seems to have existed in a parallel universe with a person that was not me, but only looked like me.

However, for my children, this is a magical location. An enchanted forest filled with toys, adventures and new things. Grandma’s house has secret cupboards that contain curious things to explore and mysteries that need to be unfolded. Her pantry swelling with treats to eat and sweets that need to be eaten. Their little hearts bursting with the love and adoration that comes from standing in the light of two people who adore them, and yearn for them to be the center of their universe.

This is what growing up is all about. As I mature and see my parents as the raw humans that they are, my children see them as the perfect, glorious people of my youth.

Uncategorized

Quick Take Friday

May 29, 2009 blogobeth Leave a comment

I’m still busy working on my redesign and migration to WordPress. I’m hoping to be live by June 10th with an extra special give away to celebrate. Posting will continue to be light but in the meantime here are my 7 quick takes for Friday.

1.) Tomorrow we leave to spend a week in Michigan visiting my parents. I’m very excited to get back to my old stomping grounds and in particular to visit some old high school friends. I’ve been away from Michigan just long enough that it no longer feels like home, but more like a dream I had a long time ago. In many ways familiar and yet in other ways a strange and unfamiliar place.

2.) Summer has started with a bang and my calendar is filling up faster than a bar giving away free beer. This is the first time since I was a young child that summer feels, well, like summer. Special trips to take, fun parties to attend, camps to go to, etc. The weather has been beautiful and I’m relishing living in Texas. Ask me again in August though, when the heat is so bad that I’m begging for somebody to invent a roof for the Earth.

3.) This is the first summer that BOTH of my children will be attending “Nana Camp”. This means I will have an entire week alone, with my husband, at home. I have no idea how we will fill the time, but I expect excessive movie watching will be on the agenda. Oh, and staying up late for no other reason than we don’t have to get up early the next morning.

4.) Did I mention that I’m hoping to launch my redesign on June 10th with a special give away to celebrate?

5.) I have once again ventured into gardening this year. I know I swore up and down that I would never do this again and that if I did you were to stop me. However, I think I’ve made wiser choices this year. I’ve planted container tomatoes and green bell peppers. I’m thinking that these might do better in my South West facing patio. My expectations are really low and if I manage not to kill them by July 1st I’ll consider myself a success.

6.) I’m feeling obligated to say something about Jon&Kate. I never really watched the show except for perhaps a half a dozen times. First, they have eight kids. Eight kids would make anybody crazy . Eight kids are also expensive and I don’t begrudge her or Jon one minute putting their kids on TV. I also think it is silly to think that a marriage can withstand the strain of that many children and being on TV without some problems. The difference between their problems and our problems is that our problems are private. We all have times when we feel like kicking our spouse out of the house and never talking to them again, but those moments aren’t being viewed and judged by all of America. I hope they work it out – I truly do.

7.) I suspect Max is going to learn to swim before he learns to use the potty. Isn’t there something wrong with that? I was hoping he would at least be close to being potty trained by Nana camp, but at this point I’ll be glad if we’ve started the process by Christmas. Has anybody else had a little boy wait this long to use the potty? Max is 3 1/2 and won’t even sit on the potty. That is one seriously controlling 3 year old.

Thanks to Conversion Diary for the idea this week.

Kids

Max Learns To Fish

May 25, 2009 blogobeth Leave a comment

We spent the weekend at the lake house in east Texas. Max is still scared of swimming in the lake and so he spent most of his time fishing. A new hobby for him. He caught three fish. He was very serious about his fishing though and wanted to hit the water as early as 7:00 AM and was still sitting on the dock at 6:00 PM. David snapped this photo of Max as he sat on the dock. No further words are necessary.

I fall in love again and again looking into those eyes