David and I adopted Cosmo in 2001, shortly after we bought our first house.  A small grey short hair that we named after Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld.

Monday morning, as I got dressed, it occurred to me that I hadn’t filled his food bowl since Thursday and there was still the same amount of food.  I checked his litter box – no activity in there.  I then realized that Cosmo had stopped sleeping with us at night. Something was wrong.  I bolted out of the bathroom and hollered at David, “something is wrong with Cosmo.”  Cosmo had never been sick, had never had a health issue of any kind.  David sat up in bed, “are you sure?”  I was emphatic.  Call it mother’s instinct but I knew the cat was sick.  I quickly picked up the phone and called the vet for an appointment.  David helped me wrestle Cosmo’s little grey body into his carrier and off to the doctor we went.

The vet’s office was deceivingly clean and sterile.  Cosmo hunched down in his cage and the vet did his best to examine him.  After $500 in tests and several phone calls the sad news was delivered,  Cosmo had cancer and he was dying.  I sobbed.  It was so sudden. He never gave any clue that he was in discomfort or that something was wrong.  How could it have happened so fast?  The vet explained that cats are very good at hiding their illnesses and that Cosmo had probably been sick for a long time.

We sat the kids down and explained to them that Cosmo was very sick.  That it is the responsibility of us, as pet owners, to do what is right for our pet.  That Cosmo wasn’t eating. He wasn’t drinking and it was best to help him along in his journey.  Lucy took it the hardest.  She burst into sobs and wailing exclaimed; “NOOOO!!! I DON’T WANT COSMO TO DIE!! I LOVE COSMO!!!”  I gently explained that none of us want Cosmo to die but that now is the time to be brave.  Lucy wasn’t buying it.  “I CAN’T BE BRAVE! I’M ONLY SEVEN YEARS OLD, I HAVEN’T LIVED LONG ENOUGH AND DONE ENOUGH THINGS TO BE BRAVE. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A CAR! AND NOW I’M THE ONLY PERSON AT SCHOOL THAT DOESN’T HAVE A PET!”  It was hard to argue with those emotions.  It wasn’t really fair to ask a seven year old to be brave about the death of the only family pet she had ever known.

Max was more circumspect and after a moment of sadness quietly asked, “when do we get a dog? Like a month? a week? How long do we have to wait?” Max tried to comfort Lucy with the idea that we could now get a puppy and that seemed like a fair trade to him.  Lucy did not find this comforting.

Harper followed Cosmo around the house saying ‘meow’ and offering him Oreos.

In the end, Cosmo went quietly and with dignity.  We spent his last two days showering him with love and tuna fish.  He’s gone, and now my feet are cold at night and our house is a bit more empty.  Well, at least until we get Max a dog.