You open your eyes and you realize in one flash of recollection that its over. We have a new president. And then, like a bad night of drinking, the memory of all the bold, angry, and extreme remarks you made to friends and family rise up in your throat like last night’s chicken wings. The shame, the embarrassment. If your candidate won you feel awkwardly proud. If your candidate lost you feel angry and disappointed. Now what?

1.) If you haven’t already told people who you voted for now is not the time to begin. Keep your silent, PRIVATE vote private. When speaking with family and friends keep your political ideology a mystery — it will make you seem more interesting. If everybody already knows then this is the time to be gracious. If your candidate won say something like “well, I’m excited and I hope over time he wins your respect”. If your candidate lost you might say something like “Yeah, I’m super bummed, but who knows? This guy may turn out okay and we’ve only got two years until we elect new Congress members and only four with this guy”.

2.) Try to politely forget all the stupid things you said. Are you one of those people that threaten to move to Canada if your candidate didn’t win? Well, first let this be a lesson to you to not make ridiculous claims. Second, try to pretend that you never said that. “Move to Canada? No, I never said move. Visit maybe, but never move”.

3.) If you didn’t like either candidate then this is a good time to jump on the band wagon of the winning side. You might say something like, “I always liked that guy. Knew he would win.” And when people start saying positive things simply agree with simple statements like “Ah, yes I think I read that in the New York Times” or even better “Yes, I read a similar opinion in the London Times”. Mentioning a foreign newspaper is always a good idea because the chance the person you are talking to has read it is slim.

4.) This is the best time to become an armchair political pundit. Saying things like, “I heard on NPR that Obama is beginning to look at cabinet posts. Who do you think he’ll choose?” Mentioning NPR makes you seem cultured and asking a question prevents you from actually having an opinion. You could make the over-the-top educated opinion like, “We really need to evaluate our financial regulations and how they impact long term investment portfolios of the middle class. And you?” This way your friend has no idea what you are saying which will prevent them from pressing you for further details.

I hope this helps you as you begin to navigate the uncomfortable conversations and emails that you will be receiving between now and the inauguration. And God Bless The United States of America.