Thursdays are play days for me and the kids. I do chores or teach the rest of the week, but Thursday I try to set aside for special outings and crafts. Time when the kids get my undivided attention all day. Today was no different. Today we started the day off by cutting feathers into a hundred tiny pieces all over the kitchen floor. Next, we water colored our heads — well, Max and Lucy water-colored their heads. I stood back, breathed deep and reminded myself that I have a vacuum cleaner and a bathtub and that my world could be returned to order. After this we all got dressed and headed to the park where I caught Max drinking water out of the tiny hole in the middle of the seat pictured here.

Next, we went to McDonalds for lunch. (Please don’t email me with a lecture about the toxic, fatty and terrible food that is served at McDonalds and haven’t I seen all the news stories about fat kids, etc, etc. My kids voluntarily ate salad and oranges for dinner last night so I don’t think a trip to McDonald’s is going to kill them. I beat you to the lecture, I win!) At any rate, this is “our” McDonald’s and one that we visit regularly enough that I know the kids feel comfortable in the play area. Max and Lucy have climbed up into those magical plastic tubes and slid down the slides more times than I can count. So, the kids finished their lunch and I sent them off to play with the other 15 or so kids at the McDonald’s. All was fine until I suddenly realized that I didn’t see Max. Lucy had come down the slide but not Max.

I need to take a moment here and explain that having a child trapped in one of those plastic tubes of child play is a secret fear of mine. I HAVE never and swore I WOULD NEVER try to shove my big self through those tiny tubes in order to rescue a child — If they are big enough to climb up they are big enough to climb down.

I cautiously walked over to the giant tube slide and hollered up “Max? Are you okay?” and then I hear Lucy say “Mommy!! He’s stuck!! He can’t get down!” and then I hear Lucy say to Max in a high-pitched sweet voice “It’s okay Max, c’mon – mommy is right here.” And in response I hear Max wailing in fear. I don’t mean the small cries of a slightly uncomfortable child, I mean the full body, I’m going to make myself throw up, tears. Without thinking of how ridiculous I might look I climbed UP the tube slide in McDonald’s. I instantly felt claustrophobic and it took every ounce of me to beat down the panic that was rising in my throat. When I reached the top Max was sitting there with about four small children sitting next to him, consoling him, and coaxing him down from his perch. Max had big, hot tears streaming down his face. I grabbed him, put him in my lap and we slid down the tube slide together. At the bottom were about a half dozen parents looking at me. It felt as if I had just led an expedition to save a beached whale, or rescue an eagle from a hunter’s trap. But I’m sure they were all really thinking “I’m so glad that wasn’t my big butt climbin’ up that slide”.