My parents always greeted the news of my father’s unemployment as a time to celebrate. Obviously, this was a new beginning, an opportunity for greater things, and should be met with optimism and hope. Coordinating with this carefree attitude was my mother’s reputation for making large, frivolous purchases shortly after my father was laid off/fired. Some of these purchases included a pinball machine, an entire candy shop display, a skeeball machine and other “toys”. My mother always said, “the best time to spend money is when you don’t have it to spend”. Although this might sound careless my parents never lived on credit. My mother splurged, but never spent recklessly. I love the fact that my parents were never scared of life.
I know that many of us are facing uncertain financial times and some of you might be losing your job for the first time. I wanted to share our family tips for survival. These are the strategies that my parents have used to survive, as well as David and I.
1.) Circle the Wagons
This is not the time to get angry at your spouse or your kids. This is the time to work together as a family. If you have not discussed your financial situation honestly and openly before now is the time to do it. Kids do not need to be excluded from this conversation. Include them in the process and discussion – they can be helpful in solving the problem. Work together against THE PROBLEM not each other.
2.) Trim the Fat
Even before you begin to feel the financial squeeze make cuts from your budget. Whenever my father was laid off the first thing my mother would do was to cancel any extra service and to scale back on any payment that she could. David and I have always kept a monthly budget. When we found ourselves unemployed we went through that budget and cut everything as tight as we could.
3.) What’s Your Number?
Once we had cut everything we could from the budget (and this means everything but mortgage, food, car and utilities) we had a monthly number. A goal. From this point you begin working on a month-by-month basis. What do you need to do to cover that number? If you are lucky you can piece together enough part-time work or unemployment to work two months at a time. That number will give you freedom. It is no longer a mystery, you know EXACTLY how much money you need to survive every month.
4.) Friends Matter
This is not a time to isolate yourself or be too proud to ask for help. Call your friends, call your church, call strangers. Tell everybody and everyone your situation and ask them to help you find a job. Nobody will think less of you. Everybody will be there at some point in their lives so no need to be embarrassed.
5.) Drop Your Pride
Again, this is not the time to think your are too good for anything. If your family needs you to take a part-time job working at Target or Home Depot than you do it. Period. You don’t need to tell future employers or put it on your resume, but money is money and now is not the time to get too picky.
6.) Don’t Take It Personal
This is the hardest part. Losing your job has little to do with you personally, and everything to do with business and dollars. There will be many rejection letters and it can be hard to take. Everybody gets rejected. My dad once received a rejection letter from NCR the same day they offered him a job. It happens and as difficult as it is, you can’t let it get you down. (see rule #1 – circle your wagons)
7.) Be Creative
This can be the best time to think creatively about your career and options. Can you freelance? Do you have other skills that you have never used? Can you tutor kids? Work as an interpreter? Sell stuff on ebay? Open an Etsy shop? No amount of money at this point is too small.
8.) Take A Vacation
Seriously. You will never have unlimited vacation time again. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but take the time. Spend extra time with your kids, family, spouse. Enjoy this uninterrupted space. Finish up all those house projects you’ve been putting off – don’t waste the time.
Lastly, it is crucial that you keep your sense of humor. David and I still laugh at his office calling him while we were at our first pediatrician’s visit with our first child, just to lay him off. Nothing like giving birth for the first time, and finding out you don’t have an income. Or, how about the time his company fired him for using stolen software that his boss had given him to use, and then refused to pay our unemployment? Or what about the time I was promoted and then four weeks later laid off?
The truth is that they were good times. Challenges can either bring you together as a couple or tear you apart. David and I have been nervous, we’ve been scared, but we’ve always worked together as a team and in the end that has made us stronger.
This is a great list, I think. I’m sending your post to my sister, whose deadbeat ex is behind on alimony/child support. I think she could use some of this advice.