I never liked playing with baby dolls as a child. As many of my friends embraced pretending to be a mommy, or even playing dress-up I was disinterested. My mother stayed home, as did most of my friend’s mothers, and she was wonderful and I respected her (and still do). But, these games seemed two-dimensional and lacked interest for me. I enjoyed playing library or pretend cooking, or even playing safari, but babies – never. There was only one doll I ever wanted to play with and that was Barbie.

I remember my mother begrudgingly supporting my interest in Barbie. Most of my Barbie’s clothes were hand me downs from when my sister had played with her. That meant that my Barbie had a lot of bell-bottomed jeans and go-go boots. When I was ten I yearned for the Barbie Styling Head. Remember that one? The giant Barbie head that let you curl and style her hair. I begged my mother, I pleaded with my mother and eventually she caved. Shortly after receiving this prized possession I out grew playing with Barbies. At the time my mother’s dislike of the Barbie puzzled me but now I get it.

Barbie is a stunning symbol of a misogynistic society that continually is reinforcing that the ideal woman should be skinny, have big boobs, blond hair and walk in high heels. I’m horrified by her sheer existence. How could I possibly provide my daughter with such a toy? Why would I willingly reinforce this negative societal message? And yet, I let Max play with guns. Does that mean he’s going to grow up to be a thug? And even though I frolicked lovingly with my Barbie I am the farthest thing from female milk-toast.

While many of Lucy’s peers drag their Barbie dolls from house to house Lucy has yet to find the pleasure in a Barbie doll. She loves the Barbie movies and I must begrudgingly admit that I do too. Yes, I said it- I like the Barbie movies. The music is very well done, the stories are classics, and well, at least Barbie isn’t running around with half her body exposed throwing herself at Ken.

Parenthood is filled with so many choices that sometimes it is hard to identify the really important ones from the insignificant ones. I’ll let Lucy play with Barbie because I know Barbie can’t overshadow my desire to raise an empowered, strong, confident, independent woman. I know this because Barbie never once overshadowed my mother.