The relationship between blogger and reader can be tenuous. As a blogger you are making the choice to allow strangers into your life. You, as the blogger, are TRUSTING your reader to be gentle and to understand that there is a person behind the words. The problem is that as a reader it is easy to forget about the human side. And then there are comments.

Most bloggers love comments. That is they love comments until somebody disagrees with them. Then the comments disappear. This can cause a breach in the reader/blogger relationship. Some readers disgusted and disappointed, that their favorite blogger has chosen to delete opposing views abandons them. Some bloggers, crushed by the personal fervor and pointed criticism slink off into darkness and anonymity licking their bruises.

I do think that most of this hurt and bad blood comes from misunderstandings and expectations. Let me lay down the tenets of comments.

Tenet #1
This is MY blog. I have chosen to establish a little corner of the Internet and have labeled it as such. This means I can do with this space whatever I bloody well feel like. I can allow comments or not allow comments. You can read, or not read.

Tenet #2
I might, periodically, write about controversial issues. This might cause you to have passionate feelings, feelings that make you want to scream from the mountain top that “Beth is an idiot”. Well, let me clear some things up. I pretty much already know I’m an idiot so you don’t have to tell me that. Feel free to leave a thoughtful, respectful comment indicating that you disagree with me. I would be flattered that you are reading and took the time to comment. Do not leave me a foul-mouthed diatribe of how I smell, am stupid and my mother’s a goat. This kind of comment I will NOT publish.

Tenet #3
Don’t use my comment space to spam me or to somehow delicately push your completely unrelated blog/article/deoderant product

Tenet #4
I am a person. I do have a family and friends who read this blog. When you say mean things to me it hurts, I cry and sometimes my family gets angry. Ask yourself before commenting, “would I say this to her face?” If the answer is yes but still includes pointed, personal attacks than don’t leave the comment, but seek the assistance of a professional mental health expert.

Tenet #5
If your comment is filled with so many grammatical errors and bad spelling that I think YOU would look like an idiot I will not publish it. I am an English teacher afterall and I must maintain standards.

I hope this clears up expectations, lays some foundation principles with which we can build a healthy line of communication. Go ahead, comment. I promise I’ll listen.