On October 14, 2000 in Brighton, Michigan on a perfect fall day David and I were married. Eight years is not a milestone anniversary, but we are still married and we are still happy. I asked David last night why he thinks our marriage has been, and continues to be, successful and he quickly rattled off several qualities.

Communication
I’ve got to give David all the credit here. My form of communication is to bottle my anger and then passive aggressively express it by shrinking all of his underwear in the dryer. David is far more forthright. David wants to “talk” about things and actually gets frustrated at me when I don’t express my anger. Of course when I do express my anger he then gets mad that I’m so gosh darn defensive and then I stop talking. It’s a lovely vicious cycle that after 8 years we have completely mastered and can now replicate in an efficient 2-minute drill.

Compromise
David leaves his dirty clothes on the floor next to the bed. Does it drive me crazy? Yes. Am I going to argue about it every day for the next 50 years? No. David HATES that I box up little items of uselessness and then chuck them into the garage for a magical day when they will disappear. Is this a deal breaker? No. Why? Because every morning I make him a hot breakfast. And every month he sits down and pays all the bills, puts money into our savings account and makes sure that we are financially secure. He can leave his clothes on the floor. It really doesn’t matter.

Love
As corny as this sounds we love each other. Seriously, honestly, completely, unconditionally and without expectation, I love David. I don’t love him in spite of his faults, I love him because of his faults. I love him for being his own mysterious combination of good and bad. I love him and will continue to love him and I know without a doubt that he feels the same way. How do I know this? Because he bought me an iPhone so we can text message during the day. Because when I hurt my back he traded the Expedition in so I wouldn’t need to lift the kids up to get them into the car. Because he eats every meal I make – even when it is bad.

Commitment
We won’t ever divorce. Why can I say this so confidently? When you BOTH commit to taking divorce off the table as an option you become a great deal more willing to compromise, love, forgive, and communicate your way out of problems.

Family
David and I are so blessed to be surrounded by family that supports us. A family that has encouraged us through tough marital times. We’ve also had wonderful role models in our parents, both of whom have been married for 40+ years. It takes couples, who have covered the course before you to let you know what needs tending to and what can be let go. What is a reasonable expectation (he should remember your birthday) and what isn’t (he doesn’t need to throw you a party every year).

Finally, I want to thank David. I want to thank you for being loving, sensitive, gentle, kind, supportive and funny. I want to thank you for helping me to create a world and a life that is filled with love and joy. I want to thank you for standing by my side when I needed a friend and kicking me in the butt when I needed to be challenged. You are my best-friend, my greatest cheerleader and the love of my life. Happy Anniversary Baby!!