Being married is all about compromise and learning to live with the other person’s idiosyncrasy. All the little things that you thought were cute when you were dating and that have slowly become bizarre behaviors that you cannot believe that person still continues to do. Over time these things follow a distinct cycle of ;”isn’t that precious that he does that?” to “I cannot believe he does that” to “well, that is just the way he is. I ignore him most of the time”.
I have a certain way I like to load the dishwasher. I know it makes no sense. I recognize that in the great scheme of life this is hardly an important issue. I also understand that it shows some sort of deep seeded compulsion that I would prefer not to acknowledge. David understands this and as a result hasn’t done the dishes in 8 years. I would LOVE for him to help me with the dishes but I have slowly trained him not to help because I inevitably go back and rearrange the dishwasher. Yesterday I was desperate. I had spent the entire weekend reading “Twilight” (which I will post about later) and I didn’t do any dishes for about 24-36 hours. I truly needed help. David happily stepped in and as he began to do the dishes and load the dishwasher we had the following conversation:
Me (quickly approaching the dishwasher to rearrange as he went)
David: STOP!! BACK OFF!!
Me: I’m just….
David: BACK OFF WOMAN! I’m doing some unconventional things here that I don’t think you would agree with.
Me: (nervously) okay, but if you are thinking of putting my new pots in the dishwasher please don’t. I’ll just hand wash them later.
David: Why? They ARE dishwasher safe
Me: Well, they say that, but I just don’t think they hold up as well after being in the dishwasher. (In a very anxious voice) Really, don’t worry about it I’ll wash them.
David: STAND DOWN WOMAN! I WILL LOAD THE DISHWASHER.
He did load the dishwasher. I had no defense. He was right. My compulsion over the dishwasher is absurd and I know it. He’s helping me why should I care? And yet, later that evening when I put the kids dishes from dinner in the dishwasher I guiltily rearranged the dishes.
Please don’t tell Eric about the “Stand down, woman!” comment–it sounds like something he’d like to add to his vocabulary. 🙂
I have the dishwasher compulsion too. It’s sad, but also, it’s okay in the evenings, because I’m happy for the Hubs to entertain kids while I have some quality me time 🙂 in the kitchen.
Oh how funny we humans are with our quirky inability to change ways!! Thanks for letting me and David help, even though we don’t do it properly. At least when you rearrange the dishes they are already in the dishwasher. :p
THAT’S the kind of conversations we have!…lol I don’t call it complusion, I call it preservation.
I had a WOOL jumper once; that by the time he was done washing AND DRYING it, it was small enough for a Barbie to wear. We’ve learned over the years; I wear acrylic and he ASKS if its okay to wash.