In an effort to remedy the psychological damage I inflicted after threatening no visit from Santa Claus I crafted and mailed the following letter to my children. Let’s hope it saves me at least two trips to the therapist’s office.
Dear Lucy & Max,
It is my pleasure to inform you that after careful review of your behavior and attitude during the year 2011 that Santa Claus has decided to add you to the following list:
We would like to request that on Christmas Eve you place the following items on a plate close to the fireplace:
- A small cup of milk (cow and no less than 2%)
- Three small iced cookies (please no chocolate)
- Three small carrots (peeled)
In addition, we would like to invite you to visit Santa Claus at a store location near you. Every year we strive to deliver toys that meet each child’s wishes and your visit to Santa Claus is an important step in guaranteeing our continued toy success.
We have also noted that you will be staying at your Nana’s house (Max & Carolyn Morley Denton, TX) and would like your Christmas presents delivered there instead of your normal home location. If this is an error please contact our delivery team immediately with the correct address (email@example.com).
We would like to thank you for your continued support and belief in our organization and we look forward to hearing from you again in 2012.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Department of List Management