As some of you may remember I inflicted a good deal of emotional pain on my children last year when I inadvertently told them that Santa wasn’t coming due to bad behavior. Well, that has created an expectation that they will be receiving notification in the mail every year regarding their list status. As a result, here is this year’s letter:
Dear Lucy, Max & Harper,
We received your correspondence from Lucy, and it is my pleasure to inform you that after careful review of your behavior and attitude during the year 2012 that Santa Claus has decided to add you to the following list:
We would like to request that on Christmas Eve you place the following items on a plate close to the fireplace:
- A small cup of milk (cow and no less than 2%)
- Three small iced cookies (please no chocolate)
- Three small carrots (peeled)
We have received notice that a dog has been added to your family. As a result of this addition, and in an effort to not wake sleeping children, we also ask that you leave two small dog treats for Santa to give to Heidi.
We would like to invite you to visit Santa Claus at a store location near you. Every year we strive to deliver toys that meet each child’s wishes and your visit to Santa Claus is an important step in guaranteeing our continued toy success.
We have noted that on Christmas Eve you will be at your normal home location in Allen, Texas. If this is an error please contact our delivery team immediately with the correct address (firstname.lastname@example.org).
We would like to thank you for your continued support and belief in our organization and we look forward to hearing from you again in 2013.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Department of List Management