It Might Not Be A Trust Fall, But…

When David and I bought our house we purchased a home that was considerably smaller and cheaper than what we could afford. We were nervous making such a large purchase – our first large purchase as a couple.  We neither expected nor planned to stay in this house longer than five years.  We’ve been here close to nine years.  Our house is cute, adorable, cheap and way too small for a family of five.  David and I like to toy with the idea of selling and buying a bigger, newer, house but when it comes down to the decision we don’t budge. Fear. Stagnation. Comfort. Anxiety. Change.  All of these things prevent us from moving forward.

We walked through the solid wood door with stained glass and fell in love.  It was a beautiful craftsman home built in a new trendy neighborhood. The Cape Cod styling made it stand out in a sea of brick look-alikes.  We couldn’t afford it.  We left depressed. Months passed and on a whim I looked up the house listing online to see if it was still for sale. It was and they had lowered the price – considerably.  David and I talked on the phone while he drove home one night and determined we still couldn’t afford it.  When he walked in the door and proclaimed, “I called the Realtor and told them I wanted to make an offer.”  I was dumbfounded.  Our thinking was that we would throw out a low-ball offer that we knew we could afford but that the seller would never go for.  The Realtor then informed us that she actually was pretty optimistic that the seller would accept.

Crap.

David shifted gears and started doing what David does best – analyzing all of our financial options.  He swiveled his imaginary green accountant visor and went to work.  For days he called insurance agents, mortgage lenders, family members, banks, etc.  He created spreadsheets and worked every angle of our budget front and back.  Depending on where in the process he was we were either buying the house or too poor to still afford it.  His emotions swung from elation to disappointment.  And this, this frantic energy with the calculator and the pen, this hyper-detail analysis of our spending, this is why God brought us together.  I would be overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation and give up before I ever got started. David will turn over every financial rock a thousand times before he will feel comfortable making a decision.  And because I know this about him I also know that I don’t have to worry about us making a bad decision.

With optimism and encouragement from our Realtor we submitted our offer and then waited.  While I paced the floor begging David to follow up he calmly said “I’m not calling. I don’t want to look desperate.”  His phone vibrated to life and he calmly answered.  I anxiously bounced around as he uttered non-descriptive phrases like “uh-huh” and “I see” and “okay”.  As I dreamed of bigger bedrooms, a linen closet that wasn’t in the shape of a triangle and a laundry room that actually was a room, David was serene.  He hung up and said flatly; “the seller rejected the offer and provided no counter-offer. We were too low”.  That was it.  We knew we couldn’t offer more and the seller appeared to not want to budge.  I was crushed. David was at peace.

It has taken me days to let the dream of bigger closets go while David has almost wistfully let the dream fade. And David’s seemingly calm attitude in the face of what feels like an avalanche of information is what makes him the perfect match for me. It is easier for me to let go of the disappointment knowing that the decision we made was well researched and thought out, and I know that because I trust David.

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