editor’s note: I wrote this on June 13th. I’ve been waiting this entire time to share this news with you.
A year ago today David was patiently waiting for me in a hospital as the remnants of our failed pregnancy were scraped out of my womb. That pregnancy was a kaleidoscope of conflicting emotions; joy, fear, anxiety, anticipation, happiness, disappointment, relief. David and I have said several times since that miscarriage that God knew we weren’t really ready for another baby. Oh, we thought we were but when that test came back positive we both began to panic. David and I have had hundreds of conversations since that day in the hospital about whether or not to have another baby. On any given day we are either yearning for a new baby or glad we only have two. We’ve never been able to come to a happy decision. Days passed, months passed and eventually the daily busy of life took over and we stopped thinking about it.
Our summer has been so busy with me teaching, trips to the lake, vacation in Michigan, big projects at work for David, swim lessons, camp, etc, etc. It is a miracle if David and I are even in the house at the same time otherwise sleeping in the same bed together. So when I was late I didn’t worry about it. My cycle has always run long and being late is a common occurrence for me. Days went by and suddenly as I was making dinner it occurred to me that I didn’t “feel” like I was going to start my period. Usually I have pretty distinct PMS symptoms and I wasn’t having any. I actually felt pretty good. I wasn’t really all that crabby (HIGHLY UNUSUAL for me). On a whim I dug out the last pregnancy test from the back of the medicine cabinet. It was one of those fancy digital ones that actually waits the full 3 minutes before showing you either “yes” or “no”. I peed on the stick and as I sat there I mumbled to myself “this is stupid. This is so stupid. If I’m pregnant it will be nothing short of a miracle. It is impossible. There is absolutely no way and I’m an idiot to take a test.” And then it came back “YES+”. Before I could stop myself I blurted out “WHAT? OH MY GOD!!” Of course that was the appropriate thing to say because God HAD to have made this one happen. I started shaking. David was still at work. The kids were fighting over a jump rope. And yet, I was thrilled. I am thrilled. I was instantly and joyfully over the moon excited. This time I knew it was right. I called David and after the initial “WHAT? Are you serious?” he sweetly said; “Well, I hope you know that I am genuinely, 100% excited and I can’t wait.”
Once again I can clearly and with confidence point to a moment in my life where I felt the hand of God intercede on my behalf. Every child is a miracle, but the unplanned child is a special blessing from God.